Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My Idol recap: faves, rants and regrets

(I know i have a weird blog... Bible study and
reality shows.....)
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Beatle night on Idol didn't suck! I was
dreading it, and almost didn't watch. As
a big Beatle fan, I cringed thinking of how
they were going to schmaltz and karaoke
their songbook. I usually don't like anyone
singing the Beatles, except the Beatles.
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I hate Paula more with each passing show.
I thought my hatred reached it's limit
last season when I honestly stopped
watching, but, there are actually some
good singers this year, and I'd like
to be able to tune in...However,
I prefer Osama Bin Laden as a person.
At least he doesn't pretend he's not a
bad person, and he's not a drunk druggy.

The world would be so much better off
without this annoying fake airhead. My
deepest apologies to Jesus for asking her
to be removed from the planet if the show
will not can her, but, I can't stand her another
week. I realize this is not what the Gospels
preach, but, my hatred for her is beyond
human endurance.... she doesn't
necessarily have to be tortured slowly,
and murdered sadistically to satisfy my
pure unadulterated hatred, but, I do confess
I hate her enough to celebrate her death
when it comes... I'm just being real.

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Chakizi Eze knocked it out of the park.
It was an insanely enjoyable performance.
I loved it and I had a big smile on my
face when he finished. My cheeks ached,
that's how much I liked it.

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DAVID COOK ROCKS! I loved his Eleanor
Rigby . I like him better than Chris
Daughtery and he's so much better looking,
even though he reminds me of Dexter...
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CARLY is probably my favorite at this point.
I've never heard anyone do "Come Together"
better, other than Lennon with the Beatles.

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Jason needs to amp it up a little to hold
my interest, but, so far, he is really enjoyable
even though he's not the best vocalist. He
and Brooke have an originality that overcomes
their technical imperfections. They've got
their own styles that are endearing.

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The earthy, ethereal pretty nanny is actually pretty darn
talented. I loved her 'Let it Be" and it's not my favorite
Macca song, even when he sings it.

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David Archuletto- If this were really a talent
competition, as Simon would say, he'd go home
this week for that performance. If he can't handle
a Lennon-McCartney song, he needs to go
back to Rock and Roll High School and get
more credibility.

It will be too difficult to forget this performance
to see him in any other light than a kind of
annoying kid from now on...


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Amanda Le Peu Overlord:

Maybe in person she exudes some
type of weird pheromones from that
hideous hellish weave, but, I
do NOT understand what it's all about.

That pretentious pseudo-70s
rocker growling does not do a thing for me.
When standing with Ryan, her ego has
grown sufficiently for her to feel justified
in making disgusting lesbian snake tongue
very retro but uncool K.I.S.S. mouth-tongue,
ick, which was completely gay in a putrid
repulsive way. To complement her horribleness,
she made sure she gave an equally ludicrous 70s
rocker devil's salute . What a moron.

I know they're backwards in some parts of
the South, but, last time I checked it is 2008!
She would look so ten years ago, like 20
years ago. What's up with that? Why do
people dig her? Even Simon! She stinks through
the screen and her fright hair suits her.

What's original about her? She isn't worthy
to rat out one of Amy Winehouse's weaves.

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If that off-key and unpleasant voice wasn't
heinous enough, she has the most HIDEOUS hairdo
that I've ever seen, including Britney
Spears on her worst day. She's more of
a cartoon than human being. She even lacks
the tacky originality of natural disaster and
fellow crackaholic, Amy Winehouse, or holds
a candle to how a real gone jazzy bluezy rocker
chick looks when she rolls outta bed with a
Marlboro red, hung over, hazy, and slashed
with blood on the pillow. Don't get me started...

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2. KRISTY LEE- She is the most deserving
to go home. Even though Pepe Le Peu's
human counterpart, Amanda Pee-U, sucks
beyond belief and looks like she ages 10 years
every week, Kristy Lee, while cute and with a
better instrument, really should just go home
and spare us any more embarrassment watching
her. She has a great country voice, but, no
originality or style. This week's "Eight Days
A Week" done countrified was tragic.

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The gay David needs to go. I wish they would
have kept the other gay guy... forgot his name,
but, he was much more original, and even
with his fierce, ferocious 'tude. He was 10000 times
more interesting than the former stripper
who butchered a Beatle song in the most
awful karaoke blandness than even Idol
can tolerate for more than another week .
Realllllllly pitiful.

The others were truly forgettable last night.

I hope gay David, 17 year old half-baked
David, or Amanda goes home, but, I think
it will be Kristy Lee.

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