Sunday, September 28, 2008

I have had it with celebrities and media gods

Lord, I'm so sick of Hollywood, the Mainstream
Media, music makers who think they are qualified
to change the world, and those whose voices
constantly try to conform us. I know I am
applying generalizations, and this is unfair,
but, because the loud mouths are the ones
that are noticed, they are the ones I refer
to. There are still individual people who
through talent and hard-work achieve fame
and use it positively, to create art, and if
they do get involved in the public sector,
it's for good, like in Paul Newman's case.

His life marks the passing of a generation
which shall never bless our world again.
They had courage and mettle, not the
sniveling and self-indulgent representatives
of the most morally despicable cretins,
who use "charity" causes as publicity and
tax dodges, and who play politics to
get in the News, as well. They are sincere
as the devil, and in many ways, his
willing disciples in the final war.

Women celebrities are the biggest
disappointment. Men will be men, and
enjoy their macho status, beautiful young
women on their arms, and staying on top.
Women who have achieved fame and are
in a position to empower a generation of
young women, and fight for women of
all ages, especially middle-aged and
elderly women, are betraying their
gender by utilizing their unlimited
resources to stay the clock with surgeries
and to play into this game that puts
an "eat by..." expiration date on every
woman's heel.

I really hate them for glamorizing anorexia.
They have personal trainers and pills, yet,
make it the standard for women to need
to look skeletal and sick. They contribute
to the accepted prejudice and persecution
of women who are fat. If the blacks were
treated the way middle-aged, elderly and
fat and ugly women are treated in this
country, there would be celebrities heading
the riots. Instead, they establish the
artificial standards that are insidious, satanic
and meant to demean the lives of all
women, especially those over 40.

It's not that I'm jealous, and it's not that I'm
judging them for their largely dissolute lifestyles
and hypocrisy. I'm so tired of their faces and
voices that I am looking forward to their reign
of terror being made obsolete by the return
of the LORD.

The only woman suffrage that will mean
anything is when he appoints an equal
society. The idiots who hate CHristians,
and some Christians believe that Christianity
was designed to exclude women.

Women participated in the original ministry.
The reason for the 12 male Apostles was
to represent the 12 brothers and sons of
Jacob, and not to exclude women from all
ministries. In fact, Priscilla was one of
Paul's cherished female pastors.

Paul's words have been cleverly twisted,
even by misogynist pastors and clerics
through the ages, to exclude women. When
he said that woman should keep silent in
the church, it was because Judaism kept
women wholly ignorant of the Law, and
when Christ commanded they learn the
Law, they came into the congregation
not even knowing how to read. They
called out, wanting to be taught the
essentials. That's why he told the men
to teach the women (to read and to
learn Torah) AT HOME, and then they
can understand and participate in the

When Mary, sister of Lazarus, sat at
his feet learning, Martha complained that
she was not cleaning up, and he rebuked
Martha telling her to get her priorities

It seems that women of today have that
similar problem. Here we have the opportunity
to have a woman in power, and women want
other women to clean up and smile next
to men, not believing they are up to the
job. Barbra Streisand who is hemmhoraging
in ecstasy over Obama did shamefully
little, if ANYTHING, to ensure her supposed
sister, Hillary, had the support of her

The same could be said down the line in
the DNC with women who have the cajones
to diss Hillary and praise Obama, a man with
no known record up to date, except for specious
clues that he may be associated with left-wing
looney tunes terrorists like Bill Ayers, and was
part of a Church that honored the odious Lewis
Farrakhan as the "Man of the Year."

Black men are the new feminist agenda. It's
back to the bedroom and kitchen for broads
according to Barbra and her sisterhood who
have shown their true colors. ALL OF EM!

I pick on stars because due to the ubiquitous
media, they are literally visible 24/7 and
would like to believe they can shape the
world we live in, propagandize their best,
and choose our leaders. In matters of
morality, they know they have won the
victory in validating every de-evolution
in values, from popularizing teen pregnancies
to glamorizing prostitition.

The only Civil Rights fought and won by
Hollywood is for black men. Women have
been undermined by the same, even black
women like Oprah hate other women, as
she has purely shown in her spurn of Hillary
and blatant disrespect for Sarah Palin, trying
to set the tone for other women, so they
can see it's now hipper than ever for
women to hate women.

I hate famous women who are idiots, who
live fabulous and boundless lives as hundred
millionaires to billionaires and have endless
choices, but, they fail to ensure that women
of anonymity have any voice.

Most of them live in a free nation, and societies
bought and paid for with the blood of selfless,
and anonymous young lives on battlefields.
They take for granted that if these generations
had not undertaken the challenge of standing
before tyrants and monsters, the lives of millions
would be spent in the equivalent misery that
billions endure in theocratic and plutochratic
dictatorships throughout the world.

They have erased family values by promoting
lifestyles of complete decadence and personal
destruction, glamorizing illegitimate births,
multiple partners, participation in pornography,
and drugs and alcohol.

Yet, they want to be taken seriously to
mentor our choices in government as well.

The latest affront to my senses is the
betrayal of thousands of famous women,
whose voices are silent, except to mock
and condemn the strong and capable
leadership of Sarah Pallin.

They blindly endorse Obama, a pretty boy
with NO executive experience, and only
limited government experience, spent mainly
in campaigning and engendering the right
sponsorship, even if it means selling his
soul to the left wing, as well as those
whose agenda is to destroy America, and
whose goal is to create a Marxist State
for the Middle Class, while the upper
class enjoys privileges and wealth
unknown even to ancient Roman standards.

Matt Damon, while not a woman, ostensibly
seems to be the face of a thoughtful and
educated responsible man, albeit in Hollywood.
He's not led a scandalous life or been featured
in rehab and jail stints lately. But, he felt
compelled to warn the nation that he
actually FEARS Sarah Palin for her lack
of diplomatic acumen.

What a crock. He is sexist. PLAIN AND

She has been a governor of a State, and
epitomised the success of centuries of
women struggling to break out of conventional
roles, while not sacrificing their family

She lives what she preaches, and
even if someone doesn't agree with her
views on abortion, they are the same
as Barak Obama's. The difference is that
while he personally has stated he's
against abortion, he is unwilling to
impose this morality. Many may find this
a democratic value, but, I doubt God would
agree. I find it cowardly and hypocritical.
Whatever you may think of me, and
of Palin's views, at least we're willing
to stand up for our beliefs, and she's
the living proof.

I don't have a problem with Matt Damon
not voting for Palin and I don't mind him
exercising his right to vote for Obama,
but, he's abusing his visibility to spread
hyperbolic propaganda about his so-called
"FEARS" about Sarah Palin. She is head
and shoulder's above Obama on matters
of state, and if he said he fears her
Christian views on abortion, or her
right-wing affinities, that would be

Spreading LIES about her lack of
diplomatic experience, while standing
behind a candidate with NONE is the
height of hypocrisy and hubris. He
is using his public visibility to spread

The worst offenders are celebrity
women, to a woman. Not one of them
is willing to credit this beauty, mother
and mensch with the accomplishments
that generations before her have fought
to achieve. She is the living trophy of
generations of women who endured
misery to fight for the lives of daughters
and granddaughters to come.

Now, these celebrity women, who
disproportionately live like whores,
not only by choice in lifestyle, but,
in attaining success by sleeping their
way to the top instead of earning it
by due diligence and talent, have
a united voice in mimicking Palin,
portraying her as the bimbo and
brainless chick.

They don't have to embrace her politics,
either, or approve of her lifestyle as a
mom and governor, but, to mock her
and spread lies about her lack of
intelligence and acumen is blasphemy
and I'm sick of it.

This woman, like her politics or not,
overcame all the prejudices of our
gender, to transcend the good old boy
network in politics and win the highest
position of government in a very traditionally
male state.

How disgraceful it is for celebrities like
Tina Fey, who have the honor of satirizing
her on SNL, to mock her aside from the
skits, and boldly say, I don't plan to play
her for more than a month, and then her
name will drop off the face of the Earth.

I think that is the most misogynistic
statement from a woman that I have ever
heard, and i resent it. Madonna, the 50
year old practicing witch, is on tour right
now, which is a miracle in itself. Instead
of being proud of the fact that as a woman
grandmother's age, she can still play it
with the young chickies, she abuses this
liberty by embracing ludicrous politics.

She has visuals embedded in her show
which show John McCain, a war hero,
superimposed with Adolph Hitler and
other despots, while predictably portraying
Obama with Lincoln, Jesus and Kennedy.

Mind you, I saw a clip on Youtube of one of
her songs with a guitar, and she is writhing
against it actually masturbating in front of
other people.

I don't mind her choice of being a witch
and a sex fiend, but, then what gives her
the liberty to lie and blaspheme against
people who have dedicated their lives to
public service and who have served their
country in war?

Not in any way does she empower the
presence of a woman of strength, or
accredit John McCain for doing what
Obama didn't do, in choosing a woman
running mate. Obama would have waltzed
into the White House if he chose Hillary,
but, as an "IN YO' HO's FACES" he chose
to spurn womanhood, and pick the
whitest good old boy in the network.

All Hollywood preaches is immorality and
we've had over a gene. There is seldom
any film anymore that encourages young
women to do anything more than pop out
babies as teenagers and then strip or
prostitute for a living. This is the Gospel
of the Devil as preached by his apostles
in the media.

Of course they would spurn womanhood
that has actual meaning above their own
personal narcissistic star and selfworship,
believing they are to be worshipped to
the degree of shaping public policy and
mind control.

These creatures actually do believe they
are gods, and any who follow them are
following the false idols, far worse than
the ancients bowing to idols of Baal.

I am wholly sick to death of them. I saw
Tina Fey again mock Sarah Palin, and
I have nothing against comediennes
plying their trade. It's her editorial meanness
and gratuitous slurs which make me pray
for her soul today, with fire in my own

It is with heaviness of heart and fierceness
in my brain which rebels against the sight
of these silicone boobed entitled floozies
of Hollywood and Rock telling the world
to look at women like sex toys, like themselves.
They are campaigning for women to be
sent back into the blackness of having
no choices.

At least in times past, when women were
disenfranchised, before they could even
vote, men honored their wives and mothers.
They didn't trade them in like old cars
when they turned 40, like it is currently
encouraged they do. At least women of
38 didn't feel as if they had to get facelifts
and boob jobs to keep their husbands.

Women for generations wanted nothing
more than the opportunity to use their
voices in making government choices,
and those which affect their lives and
their daughter's futures. This included
the desire to seek higher education and
enrichment of the soul, the beauty that
nothing artificial can remove or achieve.

Yet, it has never been more clear
that an educated woman of achievement,
like Hillary and Sarah Palin are proverbs
and the new anachronisms.

According the the anti-feminist whores
like Madonna and Tina Fey, we should
all get bikini wax and study porn because
only black men deserve voices of strong
women like Oprah and Tina Fey, Barbra
and those who get their faces on television
and in the News.

The anonymous women over 40 like me
are waiting for the call for us to be
euthanized. Why even pay for our healthcare
after 40? If we weigh more than 20 pounds
more than we did at 16 and our boobs
aren't bigger and higher, then we have
no purpose at all.

Shame on Hollywood and it's traitors.
Shame on Barbra, Oprah, Tina, Madonna
and from now on, I will NEVER look at
them the same way again, not that
I liked any of them to begin with.

However, Father, I pray that my fire
will translate to action for good. You
who judge men's hearts and souls know
what these women are all about. You
are the one to teach them and enlighten
them. If they cannot be enlightened,
or your mercy cannot be applied to their
betrayal of their species, then I ask for
their voices to be silenced. We've not
supposed to ever ask for anyone's
harm, but, I ask that this is done
without harming them. Maybe they'll
just get so fat and ugly that they
will not be allowed outside anymore.

In Jesus Name.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dad asked me about the meaning.....

I grew up celebrating Rosh Ha Shana and Yom Kippur,
but, scarcely knew the ancient meanings. Over the
years, as my Christianity grew, the observances of
these holidays became more spiritual.

Dad asked me to describe my interpretation of
the two Holy Days, in context to my Christianity.

He was born on Rosh Ha Shana, and I let him know
that I believe Jesus Christ was actually born in
the period of these Holy Days.

We know that Christ was born in Bethlehem, the
City of David, a suburb of the city of Jerusalem,
the royal city given to the tribe of Judah, when
Joshua was given the holy divisions of the land.
David was the first King of Judah, and by prophecy,
Jacob uttered the Messiah would be from this
tribe of Kings (Genesis 49)

Christ could not have been born in the cold
month of December, nor would the population
of Israel be ordered to be counted in a census
ordered by Herod. It was this decree that gives
us a clue on when the time of year was.

The Sabbaths were to be observed in specific
ways. The Holy Days of the New Year and
Day of Atonement were when those of tribes
at other regions would travel back to their
native lands. It was logical that this would
be why Joseph took his very pregnant
young betrothed wife Miriam to their native
home of Bethlehem, since they were both
of the royal seed of David.

Joseph was the ancestor of Solomon of David,
and Mary's father was the descendant of
Nathan, David's other son. This is why Jesus
Christ was instantly heralded from birth as
the Messianic hope. When he was born in
Bethlehem, probably in this Holy period,
and brought to the Temple for ritual dedication,
the holy woman who prayed for the Messiah
to come was overcome with joy. Only the
direct descendant of David of Judah could
be the Messiah.

Yom Kippur is the the Day of Atonement. It
was observed by fasting and repentance of
sins from dusk to dusk, followed by a celebration
symbolizing how God forgives our sins for
HIS mercy's sake, and is also symbolically
represented as a clean new page being
opened in the Book of Life. This propitiation
was achieved by Christ's death, in his blood,
the Lamb of God, shed for our covering of
frail human weaknesses and sins.

In every way, Christ fulfills the purpose of
Yom Kippur, and He spectacularly represents
every last aspect of our salvation, as the
ancients observed by ritual and personal
ablution, sacrifice and prayer.

The reason the New Year commenced in
Autumn, in the religious calendar, was
to coincide with the Harvest, which was
the fundamental heart of life in Israel.
It was a commemorative and celebrated
time of thanksgiving to God for sustaining
the nation for the year, and giving them
the sustenance to survive through the

Usually, winter is symbolic of death and
dying, but, in ancient times, it was the
real thing. If there was famine or pestilence,
there would be no possibilities of surviving
the winter. Even in modern times, starvation
in winter is a reality for many people throughout
the world. I get an image of the dreadful
carnage of WWII in Russia, where starvation
killed more people than in all other war related

Israel was a prosperous nation, during their
heyday. Even though they flourished in trade,
and in skilled crafts, most of the population
still was considered agrarian. As in cultures
in Europe, the harvest was revered in holy
terms. I think of the ancient Celtic, even
Druidic reverence for the same principles.
I always felt that the real Druid culture
could have been an offshoot of Hebrew
religion, since there are many similarities,
even with the standing stones found in
the UK. Jacob's pillar to heaven is an example
of this.

Harvest was mystical, because, while we till and
care for the land, as it is our holy duty, it is
God who gives the rain, and allows the bountiful
harvest. I grew up as a city girl, but, when I
had my first country home, and dedicated a
summer to tilling and growing my first garden,
I connected to the soil, the tender green shoots
of plants, and the fragile nature of the balance
between life and healthy plants vs. pestilence
and failure of the crops.

Israel's greatest sin, beyond blatant idolatry
towards the vain idols of the heathen, was its'
negligence of the land. They were ingrained
with the imperative to nurture and love the
land, to feed it, to protect it, and to rest the
land, as prescribed in HOLY Sabbaths
culminating in the Jubilee years where nothing
can be grown for 7 years (to be repeated
every 49 years- once for each man's life's

HOLY principles!!!

When Israel got lazy, greedy, and neglected the
land Sabbaths and jubilee, they were given to
the plagues as prophesied by Moses in Deut 28
when he uttered the curse which would cause
the harvests to fail and their enemies to

their hearts were hardened, neglecting to
recognize what a holy farmer is, and they were
sent to Babylon for 70 years, which was one year
for every year that they had neglected to rest the

So, the time of last harvest was considered
the holiest of holy days, the culmination of
the year's labor, bounty, and blessing.

It was also a time when God wanted us to
consider how our souls are like tender plants
as well, and how we are the fruits of God's

the prophets said, "All flesh is grass, and gone in
season" and so our link to all living things is
interconnected, even our souls are given
substance in understanding the ephemeral
nature of life itself, through the growing of
things that came from the ground and returned
to the ground, but, then gave life and nutrients
back to the next generation. In other words,
even though death is part of each cycle,
life is the product of death, not just the other
way around.

that is why the religious New Year began at
what was the end of the Harvest. My most
affectionate Christian proverb is "to Live is
Christ and to Die is Gain." this is seen in
the harvest.

other Jewish holidays have similar connection
to the land, such as Firstfruits, or Pentecost,
in the Spring, following Passover. As a companion
to the Harvest worship and Praise to YHWH in the
Autumn months, the Springtime miracle of the
land again turning green and yielding new life
is the metaphor for our eternal life. It was on
the first Pentecost following Christ's crucifixion
on Passover (Our Pesach Lamb whose blood marks
the doorposts of our souls) when the first
Jews for Jesus were given the Holy Spirit,
manifesting in profound miracles which
witnessed to the generation which founded
Christianity following the Messiah's first
advent amongst man.

We are in the Autumn of History, a fearful time,
when we see the nation of Israel being threatened
by ancient foes, and the rest of the world balancing
upon the precipice of these ancient and original
mysteries. We are entering the time, where the
last generation will witness the harvest of mortal
souls in the culmination of human history, as
prophesied, but, it's not a time of ending.

Just as we prepare to observe the final harvest,
our souls, we sense the coming winter and
need to depend on the LORD himself to sustain
us with his mercy, bounty and faith.

It is not the end, but, the New Year, leading us
to the ultimate NEW, when all things will become
new again. We will see the Earth turn green again,
the waters clean and running freely. We are promised
a millennium where there will be NO death for 1000
years. Just as Lazarus could not remain dead in
the presence of our LORD, when He is amongst us
again, no one will die for that time. We are told
that a man of 100 will be like a child.

We are told that there will be no more killing either.
Not even animals will kill for protein. the lion will
graze alongside the ox, and the lion and lamb
will cuddle under the Jerusalem sun.

It sounds like a fairy tale to some, and a ridiculous
hoax to others, but, consider how the most important
human being in human history is Jesus Christ. Whether
or not you believe in him, he changed the world more
than any other individual who was born.

Consider how the prophecies written thousands of
years ago are plausible, understandable, and the fate
of the world is balanced upon Israel and its' nemeses
ancient enemies. Consider how the Book of Genesis
begins this tale of humanity and foretells the struggle
between brothers: Abel and Cain, and then Ishmael
and Isaac, Abraham's sons.

Consider how a small population of people, the
Jews, who have been systematically slaughtered
throughout history, but, never wiped out. Remember
how they began with 12 tribes of Jacob, and now
remain with about 12 million souls.

Consider how the Lord said that at the end of
times, Israel would be resurrected , then
condemned by its' neighbors, and finally the
world. Remember how it is because of the
vow to finally wipe Israel off the map when
the Lord said he will return with New Jerusalem.

Why are all these things happening if there
is only a fairy tale? When there are over 6
billion people on Earth, why do such a relatively
tiny number hold such fascination, and reckon
such hostility, to the point of continuing the
hunt for Jews. It was only 70 years ago when
6 million Jews, most of the Jews in Europe
were slaughtered, and a generation later,
after Israel was born from the ashes of those
slain, there are new cries to kill Jews and
wipe Israel from the map, again.

today, the "Prince of Persia" aka Ahmidinijab
is being wined and dined all over the USA,
when this is his express message. Even some
(So-called) "Christian" organizations are
catering to him, although, they are clearly
the same machine as the Nazis and just
as anti-Christian.

For this coming season of renewal, mystical
contemplation and thanksgiving to God for
his mercy and forgiveness, I am led to see
the season in its' layered allegories, and in
it's realities of what is happening in the
world today, and that's no fairy tale.

there will be peace my friend, my brother,
when the Prince of Peace comes and just
as the people of Bethlehem rejoiced seeing
young Miriam holding her miraculous child,
we find consolation as well, seeing the hope
the Messiah will bring us.

there is a time and a season for all things,
and I praise God for the mysteries and
revelations in these through the lens of
our Lord Jesus Christ.

It's the real Christmas. It's the real New
Year. the winter celebration was Nimrod's
and not to be confused with the holy
lamb of God who is the light of the world.
He is the firstborn of the dead, and we
are promised this new life to follow us
at the end of our mortal lives.

We live in hope and faith. there is nothing
to be compared to the joy and consolation
that faith in Christ brings.

Father, In Jesus' Name, I praise you tonight
knowing that your promises are true, and
everything your promised us is coming true
before our eyes. Even though the heathen
rage and blaspheme, I pray they will have
their eyes opened by you. I pray that all
those who seek you will be rewarded by
the peace of mind and joy you provide.

I pray that people wake up and are able
to comprehend these miracles and mysteries.
I ask that those who refuse to see, will
have no choice but to awaken to truth.

I ask that you have mercy on those who
have made themselves our enemies. I
pray that those who invest their souls
into killing others, believing this is their
purpose for living, will be cleansed from
this delusion, and will lead others in the
path of righteousness.

I pray for a miracle, that Ahmidinijab
and his ilk would recognize the power
of our source in YOU, and that he would
no longer boast himself against the
Prince of Peace and the land of Israel.

Father, in Jesus' Name, I thank you for
the joy you give me, although I am not
worthy of being called by your name.
Yet, you have promised me to wash
away my sins, to give me a new page
in the Book of Life.

My soul worships you, and my heart
adores you. I long to shout my praises
in adoration and worship to the world
outside, but, they would shout back
and condemn their own souls.

We live in a sad world, but, our hope
is in the green and fertile land that you
created, where rivers of living water
and the tree of life flourishes. I rejoice
in knowing that a new day is about to
begin. Although we must face a long
winter ahead, by your grace, we will
survive, and though our flesh fades,
in the Spring, you will resurrect us
and in our flesh shall we praise your
name forever more.

(to be edited. i know i'm all over the place, but,
my heart is filled with love of Christ, so maybe
my bad spelling and circular discussion is

Wow, I actually feel high as if I smoked
a joint. My head is buzzing and full of music
of praise, love and happiness. If only I could
bottle this!!! However, one day, all of us
will live in peace like brothers, and this
will be our destiny to rejoice! I can feel it
getting closer ever day, I really can!


to witness a unique event

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Heathen Rage on

Lord God, In Jesus' Name, I ask that you have mercy
towards those in darkness, who blaspheme both you
and those who abide in faith through Jesus Christ.

The volatile political climate of America is heightened
by the Democratic candidate, who has portrayed
himself, and is being portrayed as a type of Messiah.
Many good people simply want to believe that he
is a God-fearing man who can improve the destiny
of the country and their lives, but, I believe they
will be disappointed in him if he wins.

I pray for YOU to prevail and put whoever you
ordain to be President in power.

If he stands for values contrary to our beliefs,
those called by your name will be sustained
by knowing this was who you placed in power,
the same as Pharaoh in Egypt and Hitler in

The thing that distresses me the most is to
see some of the most amoral celebrities exalt
Barak Obama as if he validates their lifestyles
and socialist agendas. It always strikes me as
being ironic that some of the richest people
in this country desire an out and out socialist
state for all the working class, which means
miserable poverty for all but the very elite.

What is even worse than their obsequious
homage to an inexperienced and unproven
Junior Senator is the way Sarah Palin is
spoken of, particularly by some of the
most vile women in show business.

I ask that you remove their pride for
maligning and slandering such an upright
lady of strength, courage and dignity.
Lord, In Jesus' Holy Name, specifically
turn your attention to Margaret Cho,
Sandra Bullocks, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna
and Pink. These foolish women have no
reason to revile Sarah, except that they
are bitter and hate those who lead lives
governed by faith.

Margaret Cho claims to be a Christian,
and I beseech you to reveal yourself to
her, in truth, for her genuine salvation.
I ask that Madonna is finally confronted
with the fruits of her sorcery and wicked
ways as well. These women try to influence
weak-minded idolaters.

Today's idolaters don't bow the knee
to statues of Ba'al, but, they flick bics
and submit their worship to rock and roll
figures, and idolize celebrities who have
no moral compass whatsoever. In order
to reach millions of young and vulnerably
impressionable children, I pray that all
those rock stars and celebrities who
espouse vile and satanic values, feeding
propaganda to kids, will be stopped in
their tracks and many be turned back.

I pray for the true salvation of those
who have made themselves enemies
of the cross, and boast of this dishonor
as if it is a badge of courage.

I know that those like myself, who call
ourselves Christian, often turn off people
and they end up hating our Lord because
of our weaknesses and hypocrisies. But,
they cannot stand before you and point the
finger to us when asked about the blood
of the LAMB.

Take the logs out of their eyes so they
can see the cross, and not obsess over
flawed Christians. We are not Christ,
even though we long to be perfect and
worthy of our ambassadorship to the
Kingdom. Forgive us our sins, and allow
us the grace to not hate the ignorant and
blind, but, give us the power of prayer
to intercede for them, and may many
of them awaken to the light.

If Obama is elected, I pray that those
with your mark can discern the mark
on his forehead, not be led astray by
wishful thinking. Even if McCain and
Palin lose, which I pray they do NOT,
I ask that those who blaspheme and
slander this lovely woman will be
rewarded according to your will.

It will be the blessed who will receive
chastisement, for only then will their
eyes see, and their hearts be circumcised.
For the rest, they will continue on their
hedonistic life, lies and treacherous
ways. They will go to the pit where
there will be eternal darkness and
suffering. Why in the world would they
prefer this destiny than to seek
reconciliation with the true LIGHT?

Father, according to YOUR mercy,
correct the blasphemers, liars, vicious
propagandists and fiends in Hollywood,
the main stream media, and the legion
of rock stars who have destroyed many
souls. Lead them to the still waters
where salvation is a gift of peace,
love and tranquility. Lead them to
understand the music that we hear
and the light that is true.

This Psalm of David seems so
applicable to the current age:

Psa 2:1 Why do the heathen rage, and the people
imagine a vain thing?

Psa 2:2 The kings of the earth set themselves, and the
rulers take counsel together, against the LORD,
and against his anointed, [saying],

Psa 2:3 Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away
their cords from us.

Psa 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh:
the Lord shall have them in derision.

Psa 2:5 Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath,
and vex them in his sore displeasure.

Psa 2:6 Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.

Psa 2:7 I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said
unto me, Thou [art] my Son; this day have I
begotten thee.

Psa 2:8 Ask of me, and I shall give [thee] the heathen
[for] thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts
of the earth [for] thy possession.

Psa 2:9 Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron;
thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's

Psa 2:10 Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be
instructed, ye judges of the earth.

Psa 2:11 Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice
with trembling.

Psa 2:12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye
perish [from] the way, when his wrath
is kindled but a little. Blessed [are] all
they that put their trust in him.

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Family Jewels

I love jewelry and gems. I've always wanted a Faberge' egg
and it caused great distress when I first learned that a large
amount of the Romanov's family jewels and eggs wound up
in my mother's family's possession. Solzhenitsyn speaks about
it with disgust. I nearly swooned reading this.

It seems hypocritical of my great-unkle to have recruited
this royal booty into his own personal family safe, considering
he was the idol ideal proletariat martyr for the Revolution.
But, in context, he was the 20th Century Bin Laden, so,
the dichotomy and contrast between the haves and the
have nots isn't remarkable.

What happened to these priceless jewels? Are they still
in our Russian family's possession? Did they get taken
by Stalin? Were they ever redistributed to the purpose
of their seizure? Of course not. I think our family still
has them somewhere.

I know I have a cousin here in S. Florida who is a
billionaire. Maybe he was the lucky branch who
got them? He won't have anything to do with us.
My cousin Ronny stopped into his offices to
introduce himself. These two men could be
identical twins, the resemblance is that uncanny,
but, the billionaire declined to meet his mere
millionaire cousin. Poor relation.

I asked my dad if perhaps my grandfather
gifted them with an egg or bauble and he disdainfully
records his giving them a cheesy gift for their wedding.

I think about the cubic city coming with gold and
jewels that are as abundant as dirt and rocks.
It validates my longing for these indescribably
sacred stones that drive my aesthetic senses
into overload.

My favorite stone at the moment is the
mystic topaz. I just acquired a gorgeous
3 carat in gold with diamond accents.
It is so beautiful in the sunlight that it
breaks my heart. I think it's prettier than
most diamonds, except for blue diamonds.
Red and blue diamonds make me light-
headed. I swoon.

Dear Lord, I know this isn't a great Sabbath
pondering, but, you know my heart. I
worship your beauty and see you in all
things that are beautiful. Actually, I see
the LORD in everything, from the rain
and wind, to the rainbow and blue sky.

Father, In Jesus' Name, thank you for
providing us with a hunger and love
of beauty. Thank you for giving us eyes
that see color and depth, which moves
our inward parts and causes our heart
to embrace this holy beauty.

Thank you for all the beautiful animals
that share this Earth with us. I praise you
for creating the lion with both majesty
and fierce beauty, then, refining him into
a tabby cat which purrs at my feet and
feeds my soul with his gentle love.

I praise you for creating the ugly spider,
who is hideously beautiful. I praise you
for giving us the fishes that have colors
that dazzle the eye and boggle the mind.
I worship you when I see the wildflowers
embroidering the blanket of empty hills.
I worship your handiwork when I behold
a horse in all his regal poise trotting upon
strong and glorious legs.

I am astounded by the sunset when the
blue sky turns into stripes of purple, orange
and then for the midnight blue night sky
sparkling with stars a million light years
or more away. I am in awe when I behold
the sights that are captured by the Hubble
telescope sending messages to Earth in
photographic proof of your design.

I adore your beauty. I worship your
love. I praise the bands that you have
ordained and pray that I am worthy to
behold your beauty for all eternity.

To see your face would be the culmination
of a life spent adoring beautiful things.

These are the family jewels I await.

In Jesus' Name, Praise YOU LORD,
forever and ever. Amen.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Stormy Sabbath Evening Prayers

Dear Lord,

In Jesus' Name, I beseech you to direct your
mercy and love towards those in the path of
this storm. I thank You that we in Florida are
spared this agony, but, my heart is heavy
thinking of those who chose to hunker down
in homes that soon may be ravaged by wind
and water.

While hurricanes feel like Your personal wrath,
they can also bring us into the reality of Your
tender mercies and faithfulness to all who call
on Your Name. I pray that those who are afraid
will seek your strength and cling to the Rock of
our Salvation. I ask that you safeguard the lives
of children, the elderly and infirm, and keep
the precious animals safe, as well, according
to Your Will.

I pray that many who witness these events will
receive the miracle that you bestowed on my
father and me when our windows blew in and
the angel put them back in before the roof blew
off like all our neighbors. My father has always
referred to how Jesus saved us, and it makes
his Jewish friends smile. In fact, it's a miracle
that we Jews can share Jesus with other Jews
in 2008.

I thank You that the children of Abraham are
finally looking to greet their Messiah. Some are
still not willing to share that hope with the
Christians, believing their Messiah is not Christ,
but, more and more each year are falling down
and kneeling in reverence to Jesus Christ,
Y'hashua H' Maschiach. Praise Your Name,
and I pray that we are found worthy to learn
Your new Name when You come back.

Father, have mercy on us, for we are tossed
about in these winds of change. Let us not
be deceived in accepting the words of any
other than our Lord. Please show us the Way
to Life, for You alone are Light, Life and Love.

I pray for John, who I love with all my heart
and soul. I pray that You will strengthen him
to endure the things that are oppressing him.
I ask that you draw him close to You, and that
he feels the ecstasy of knowing Your love
and friendship. Your comfort is beyond anything
that this world can offer. Even though suffering
is part of our coming to know You, I ask that
you ease our burdens. Most of all, I ask that
you will bring John and I back together again,
and that we never part. I don't want anyone
else to be my soul mate except for him, and
I know he loves me the same way. It seems
so cruel that after a lifetime of looking for
that partner, we had to part, but, maybe
we will appreciate eachother in a way that
would never have been possible before.

Lord, I pray for my sister-in-law with cancer.
First, I thank YOU that while the doctors
told them they thought she had metastacised
into her lungs, your mercy prevailed, and
she was clean. This was truly a miracle under
the circumstances. Thank YOU!

I pray that my brother will finally go to rehab
soon. Mostly, I pray that he will finally be
broken enough to accept that You are God,
and no other. Let his pride not prevail.
Praise You LORD for there is no other Name
in Heaven or under which deserves to be
uttered in adoration.

Yesterday John said that his only idol is now
Jesus. That brought tears to me, because while
he always had a baseline faith, his experiences
with Pentecostalists when young had poisoned
his experience with Christ. I tried not to be
too preachy with him, but, I believed that you
told me to leave my favorite Bible with him,
and through Your love, you ministered to him.
Now, nothing can shake his faith, and this
is the greatest gift you could have given me.
Now I know that John is my eternal soulmate.
We'll be with eachother through a thousand
years of music, joy, and kitty cats! I know
many would mock me, but, let them. You
are faithful and true. New Jerusalem is a
place of music, joy, and fellowship with all
manner of believers, and all manner of animals.

I can see the verdant fields with splashes and
pops of every color and every kind of magnificent
flower. I can feel the gentle air, and see the
streets of gold, the buildings of amethyst and
sapphires. I can hear the music of the Angels
echoing through the spheres, and the laughter
of all those who overcame. All of them once

We, in America, have so many benefits in terms
of comfort, security, opportunities and safety.
I cannot imagine what it is like for my brothers
and sisters in Africa tonight, living in horror and
fear of torture, mutilation and depravity. Please
send legions of angels to your children to minister
to their souls, and protect them from harm. Take
all who call on Your Name into Your fold, and
show them the grace, the Plan, and the miraculous
manifestation of the Holy Spirit for all who
leap across the abyss of doubt to embrace faith
in Jesus Christ.

Lord, I adore and worship YOU! I renounce any other
idol that the world tempts me with, and I pray that
You keep me from temptation by reminding me
of Your glorious Kingdom. I seek Your face and
my heart seeks to embrace You, and kiss you.
How do I dare to aspire to kiss God and not be
stricken? I can't help but adore You. I can't help
but want to express that love as I would embrace
my own with a holy kiss. Yet, I know that I am
not worthy to even bow my face to the dust of
the ground, breathing in soot and not being
able to even see you without being blinded by
Your light.

On the Sabbath, we light candles to express our
cognizance of Your omniscience and Light. I can
see my mother wave her hands over the candles,
drawing light into her own bosom. I pray that you
would fill me with your light so that I don't walk
in confusion, doubt or darkness. I pray that the
light I walk by is YOUR light and not another
artificial light.

I pray that you watch over my family tonight,
as well as John and his family. I pray that his
son, who was always filled with spirituality and
brilliance doesn't abandon his natural inclination
to seek You. Catholicism traumatizes many young
people into becoming apostate, although, I'm not
saying that being Catholic is any worse than
most Protestant denominations.

The only denomination that counts is who seeks
you, and who has accepted your mark on their
forehead and hands. Please have mercy on all
those who earnestly seek this calling, and no matter
what denomination, or even cult, they fellowship in,
I pray that they come out of the church and into
the true light.

To leave the church is probably a good idea for
those who are strong enough to understand the
times. We are like Elijah, like Moses, in a generation
where there are no acceptable doctrines, rather
a bunch of social religious institutions where
many dogmas harden men's hearts. But, many
need the fellowship with other believers right
now, and I don't judge them. It's for you to
minister to them, and let every soul decide
for themselves.

Thank You Father, for the many blessings in my
life. I know that even in hard times, nothing can
separate me from the strength and HOPE in
Jesus Christ, and upon this rock will I hunker

Praise Your Holy Name forever. Praise the
Angels who Praise you eternally. Praise the
brethren who are called by Your Name. Thank
You for the gift of life and the regift of hope
of eternal life in our Lord and Savior, our
Messiah, Y'shua.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Remembering the victims and heroes of September 11, 2001

It's a scandal how the TV networks have abandoned
their memorials of 911, most obviously to avoid
stirring up memories of how the Bush administration
reacted and what caused the war. Because when 99%
of normal red-blooded Americans review these
events, it rekindles the anger we felt, and also,
the pride of being Americans.

The media is 100% behind the inexperienced and
phony shill, with his nasty wife and stilted rhetoric.

I hope every American today remembers the day
and what it means to protect our country.
This is the best memorial on the Internet.
I watch it every year on 911, and every year
I cry through it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Moral Dilemna

My extended family is pretty dysfunctional
in the usual modern ways. I won't get into
the endless details, and I'm considered
dysfunctional by them, too, so maybe we're
more normal than abnormal.

My brother survived leukemia with a bone
marrow transplant 12 years ago, but, he
didn't overcome his alcoholism. I'm not
judging him, because I don't know what
it's like to have such a demon on your
back. I've never drank, except for an odd
social marguerita and beer, or good
champagne. By the time I feel a nice
buzz, I get wretchedly ill. Maybe it's the
Asian bloodline, but, I can't tolerate it.
My brother, however, became an alcoholic.
He's only recently admitted it, and I'm
proud of him for coming clean.

Here's the dilemna. He can't stop drinking
and his liver is shot. He's going to need
a liver transplant, which could be necessary
as soon as within the year.I'm going to have
to face the decision to part with some of

My liver is healthy as can be, not having
abused it with alcohol or drugs, but, I have
a genetic blood disease that mimicks
hemophelia when I'm injured. I lose my
clotting ability and have come close to
bleeding to death. Even something as
simple as being his bone marrow donor
almost cost me my life. I bled out of the
four holes they drilled in my pelvis. I
lost half my blood volume, lost my
blood pressure, went into hypovolemic
shock and went down in history as one
of the first donors who almost bought
the farm but saved their recipient.

OK, so I lived and it sounds melodramatic
to discuss it, but, it really is a serious
matter. I may not survive donating part
of my liver, since the liver is integral
in clotting to begin with. If my liver
undergoes a traumatic procedure, and
my inherent blood disease kicks in, I'll
be dead from blood loss. He'll be alive
and free to drink himself unconscious
until his new liver fails.

It all sounds hyper-dramatic doesn't it?
However, nothing in my family is ever

Christ reminded us of our obligation to
be selfless to the point to losing our own
lives. "He who saves his own life will lose
it...." No greater love than to give your
life to your brother.

I know all this, and I know that I may be
tested. However, what is expected of me
when my brother is actively destroying his
liver, knowing I already promised him to
give him part of mine if his failed. He almost
died last year from acute on chronic liver failure,
and I was prepared then to fly there to offer
my liver.

Since then, I've come to resent his drinking.
He has a right to live life his own way, and
he claims he can't stop drinking now. His
wife has breast cancer, and now the doctors
are thinking she has metastacized to her
lungs. They've been married since they were
20, and started dating when he was literally
11. She's his soul mate and he can't face life
without her. So he's fallen harder than ever
and the occasional beer is now replaced with
hard liquor to cope. He's now having more
seizures and his latest liver function tests
are grim.

I'm not ready to die yet. I realize it's not my
decision to count the days of my life and
ordain them, but, it's God's. What would
Jesus do?

Am I obliged to sacrifice my life under these
conditions? Even if I don't bleed to death right
there and then, I'm absolutely faced with
months of wretched recovery, pain, anemia,
depression and little support. My father can't
fly to help me, and I have no one who will
care for me in Texas. They'll expect me to
nurse them, even post-op. I'm a caregiver
by profession, and don't resent that a bit,
but, they don't treat me like I'm human.

When I lost half my blood volume with the
bone marrow transplant, they were mad at
me! They bad-mouthed me so badly that
the doctors treating him told me how much
that it offended them. His oncologist hugged
me when I returned to Texas and saw him during
my hospital rounds. He told me what cruel things
they said about me, like they were facing this
ordeal and I made things infinitely worse, instead
of grasping the concept that I literally saved
his life, and unknowingly risked mine by not
telling the transplant team that I had a blood
clotting problem. The oncologist said that they
would have never used me, and my brother
would have died. At least I was a hero in
his eyes, but, my family fails to see me in
any light other than black.

I'm really the blackest sheep in the family tree,
and this is a family tree that has mass murderers
in it. I am a Christian. I am different. Things
always result in me being blamed for events
that were as much their fault as mine, or much
more so. None of that is unusual in families,
but, now we're heading to a lethal place and
there is a decision to be made.

It's a no-brainer to friends I've discussed this
with, and even my dad said that he's patently
against my donating a liver lobe to a man who's
been told that alcohol consumption will require
his needing a liver transplant.

If he was on an ordinary transplant list, it wouldn't
be an issue. He wouldn't qualify for a new liver
if he drank. Why give someone a new liver when
they're going to drink it into failure?

I try not to be judgmental about the alcoholism,
and he's tried AA with no results. He's had a few
DUIs and was required to attend. Maybe now he's
getting closer to rock bottom, admitting to dad and
me that he's an alcoholic. In the past, he vehemently
denied it.

I feel so sorry for him, though, inspite of wanting to
wring his neck. He's my big brother, and no matter
what, he's the only brother I have. How could I
live a quality life after selfishly denying him my
liver? How could I face Jesus Christ when I failed
this test of faith? I'm the one who always chirps
about to live is Christ and to die is gain.

When faced with death, or pain, or sacrifice, it's
depressing that I cling selfishly to my own comfort
and safety zone. I pray that I am given more
strength to be the type of Christian who wouldn't
judge someone for drinking, or think of my own
life over someone else's life.

Yet, it bugs me that I may get really ill from this
procedure, or die, while he continues to knock
back hard alcohol. It's selfish of him and while
the addiction is something I can't compete with,
doesn't he know that his drinking is putting his
little sister's life in jeopardy? He refused to
believe I even had this clotting disorder, even
though multiple doctors confirmed it, and I've
been worked up at the best medical institutions,
even the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota!

What will become of us? I see other families
and wonder what troubles they possess that
aren't visible on the surface. You see people
out and about, and sometimes envy them, or
imagine that they have perfect lives. Behind
the brave faces and facades, there are an
infinite number of sad stories, addictions,
abuses and secrets.

I feel so small and selfish for not being
automatically possessed of charity, even
to the extent of losing my own life. I could
overcome that if he would just try to stop
drinking, or get some professional help.
He is indifferent to what it will do to his
sick wife and sick daughter, his elderly
father, and sister. All eyes will be on me
to do what is expected, what is always
expected of Jewish women in the family.

I remember my dad's family and grandparents
only slightly, since by the time I was 10 they
were all gone. The men ate first, though.
The women came second. My dad's ancestry
was Levi, and his grandfather was a rabbi.
While the American immigrants weren't
particularly religious, they kept the
traditions of the orthodox roots. These
traits are in our genes.

I hate that mentality, still persistent in Orthodox
and Islamic cultures, that women are chattel.
Yet, if I refuse, not only will I risk my own
faith by appearing to be hypocritical, but,
the rest of the family will hate my guts.
Yet, if the situation would be reversed,
and I was the drinking party, not one of
them would expect my lawyer brother to
sacrifice his important life for my scummy

I pray for the answers, but, mostly I pray
that my brother will stop killing his liver
by drinking. I pray that my sister-in-law
overcomes breast cancer and does not
have metastatic disease, even though the
doctors are telling them to expect the
worse. It sucks.

Father, in Jesus' Name, help me to make
the right decisions. Help me to be unselfish,
but, if it is futile to sacrifice my life for
someone who will continue to abuse
alcohol, then help to convince me it's
okay to say no, and that no one will judge

If people saw my family out and about they
would say how attractive we are. They may
envy us, without knowing what is behind the

Friday, September 5, 2008

I don't like Ike but I love John

Click image to zoom in – Turn track offDownload GIS data

[Image of 3-day forecast, and coastal areas under a warning or a watch]

Holy moly. Hannah was nothing more than
a few drizzles, and just as some needed
emotional relief was setting in, the News
stations all day have been bombarding us
the doomsday predictions of Ike.

However, on this Sabbath night, I still have
to praise and worship our Lord for his many
mercies. If I'm facing the worst storm of the
season, or spared, I am grateful for the
knowledge of Jesus Christ, and the friendship
and hope in His providence.

Above all, I am thankful that the Lord has
given me back the hope of being John's soul
mate and hopefully his wife. It's like the past
years of being without him, missing him
and crying rivers of tears have given way to
a glorious rainbow of hope.

Hearing John's voice, and having his friendship
restored, and love refreshed, is a miracle that
exceeds anything I could have believed would
happen. It's as if our love was a tulip bulb
that bloomed one Spring and then hid underground
in dormency for years, until it spontaneously shot
up in unexpected beauty again.

Here's the first picture John ever sent me,
when we first connected on the Internet.
When I first saw him, he was more
handsome than I ever expected.

John in the army

I couldn't get any other pictures on file
to load, but, hopefully we'll have a
lifetime left of pictures ahead.

Thank you Father, in Jesus' Name, for
all the miracles that bless my life.

Non-believers don't understand how
even heartbreak is alleviated by the
knowledge of Christ, but, that doesn't
mean Christians don't feel pain, loneliness
or desire the same things as anyone else.

I pray that this hope is realized, and that
John and I spend this life, and the next
side by side.

While all my boyfriends since my teens played
guitar, he was probably the only one who I
enjoyed listening to hour after hour. He
has a fantastic singing voice, too!

Lennon and McCartney are his two favorite
idols and he could imitate them beautifully.
Especially Lennon. He's so Lennonesque in
so many ways, that it's no wonder I became
as infatuated with him as I still am. He has
that Lennon-ish creative and sardonic streak,
with a paradoxical flip side of unbridled
optimism and sweetness.

Can you tell I am a woman in love?
I love being in love. I love that I can
freely love John, and most of all that
I can rejoice in it.

My dad is actually so happy about John,
that he told me three times how nice John
was when he called me yesterday, and how
they joked about the newest hurricane.
He surprised me by telling me how much
he missed John. In his mind, they had
become good friends. It's funny because
John always believed dad didn't like him,
and vica versa at the end.

But, the truth before God, is that Dad
couldn't have been more joyous about
hearing John's voice back in our lives,
and he was happy seeing me float about
on Cloud Nine today. He said that if he
couldn't be happier to have him
as a son-in-law, and both of us are
stunned that we are even having this

Ike may blow hard and cause us tremendous
hardship this week, but, nothing can take
away my happiness and hope. This time
next year, I'll be back with John, God
willing. I hope I survive the hurricane, too!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Hannah means GRACE

Hanna Projected Path
Hanna Projected Path
Hannah is grace in Hebrew. I hope that counts as Hurricane
Hannah blows my way. This one seems to be stuck on the
East Coast and it may possibly hit my home if it shifts
a tiny bit... very anxious....but, I know God will sustain
us, too. That's the greatest thing about faith. There
is always strength in God. There is always grace.

I thank God that Gustav was not as fierce as Katrina,
and that the infrastructure was prepared to evacuate
the people to safety. I pray that this is the case for the
next week as people travel home, and that God will
have mercy on the poor weary travellers, especially
children, the elderly and infirm.

Father, in Jesus Name, I thank you for your blessings
and for being our rock in the storms. It is during these
perilous moments when we are forced to abandon our
own pride and seek your mercy and strength. While
calamities seem like a curse, they can likewise be
a renewal of faith and hope. I pray that your mercy
is abundant in restoring those who have had homes
destroyed, or have lost loved ones and pets. I ask
that no lives be lost in the aftermath of the storms,
and that Hannah will take no human lives or hurt
animals. I know that all things abide by your will,
and this is where our faith is restored, by recognizing
your authority over all living things in the universe.
You have stated that a sparrow does not expire
without you, and we are precious in your sight.
Please protect us and the sparrow.

But, we all must die. The greatest blessing in my
life is to hope for eternal life and beauty in our
Lord Jesus Christ. Tonight, I was meditating on
your great love, and I felt like my heart couldn't
contain my adoration. The tears that touched my
cheeks felt like a baptism. Thank you for our
tears, and even they are counted, as the hairs
on head. One day, our tears will be contained
in a bottle and thrown into the lake of forgetfulness.
We abide at all times in tremendous hope of
knowing the ecstasy of seeing your face and
being in your presence.

I wish I was a better Christian. I hate knowing
that many will always judge my Lord by my
many flaws and weaknesses, although I seek
to be perfect. I pray to be a better ambassador
of the Kingdom of God, and that every heart
that seeks the peace of God will receive the
gift of faith, to see your face in their mind's
eye and feel those tears of adoration wash
them clean.

In my own strength, I would go down to Hell
and deserve that fate. Even in Hell, I would
adore you Lord. I would praise you knowing
your are perfect love and our Creator. I do
not deserve to utter your Name or have such
an impossible hope of having the crown of
your Kingdom. I pray that my days are spent
seeking this standard of perfection by the
mark of Your perfection which is unconditional

We are vulnerable and weak creatures, capable
of incredible depths, yet, torn asunder by our
lusts and rebellions. Being a Christian only
makes me aware of my many sins, and getting
victory over these takes a lifetime of loving
you and letting go of my own human will
and carnal rebellion against the spirit of

I pray for Grace. I pray that all those who
are rocked by the winds of destruction are
planted on the rock which never rolls.

Please Father, I beseech you for this grace.
I beg for your mercy. I ask for your manifold
kindness in helping me to overcome this
storm, and all the invisible storms I struggle
against each day. In Jesus Name, I ask for
a tsunami of grace to flood America. I
pray for the Latter Rain to revive the weary,
renew the backslidden and hardened, and
save a humongous harvest of souls.

In Your sight, we are reborn. In Your eyes,
we have the perfection of Jesus Christ, who
loves us. Give us the vision in this country
to launch a final revival for the harvest is

In another direction, I pray for my soul mate,
John, suffering more than I can bear.

Father, please find a way for us to be back
together. I want to spend my life with him,
and being apart has caused him more pain
than I ever understood. I always felt he
would find someone else, but, he said
he can't replace me anymore than I can
replace him. I was the happiest I ever
was when I was with him. I know we
weren't married, and my rebellion was
not going to go unchecked, no matter
what excuses I made.

I realize that when we pledge our souls
to Christ, and then transgress, it is
a mark of our adoption to be chastised
and corrected. But, your mercy is
greater than the cosmos themselves..
John and I have suffered for our
rebellious ways. We should have
gotten married, and our declaration
of common law was not enough,
and not sufficient for your standards.

I don't know why I transgress, and I
deeply regret rebelling, particularly
when it cost me the one man I have
truly loved. If you put us together
again, I promise I will marry him.

I pray for a miracle in achieving my
heart's desire, if it is your will. I believe
it is, because otherwise John would have
found someone else to love, since he
is very desirable and cute, and has
a generous nature, good work ethic,
good J.O.B., which these days makes
him a catch for girls half my age. It's
a miracle he still wants an old gal like
me, so it must be your will for us.
Help us to stop being tortured.

I always hurt and disappoint him.
It's just very painful and difficult to
maintain a long-distance romance when
we had such a great life living together.
I think if we had gotten married, we'd
still be together, and not in this lonely
and desperate state.

I always feel blessed to have Jesus Christ,
and even in misery, I feel I have consolation,
but, I confess that I am dreadfully lonely
without my John. I miss his wit, his eccentric
poetical persona, his music, and how I wish
I could tell him how nice it is to have someone
write songs about me, even if they are in
the genre of how much I tore his heart
to pieces.

Why is love so cruel? In our case, I think it's
because we should have gotten married, and
being rebellious cost us six years of separation
and isolation. I promise not to rebel, and to
abide by your laws, to the best of my ability.
I thank you Lord for correcting me, and for
teaching me. Every day is open to receive
hope, knowledge and joy.

Well, my 3 am ramblings are straying far
from the original topic of the hurricanes, but,
I feel as if I've been swept away, gotten off
course, and desire a return to grace.

Help me Lord, and please, please Father
in Jesus' Name, help to heal John's heart.
I can't bear to hear his voice fade with
emotion and confessions of obsession
with me. It's almost too much considering
how much I loved this man to hear how
badly I hurt him.

Even if it's not your will for John and I to
be together in this life, please have mercy
on John, and gently take him out of the
storms that have blown him off course.
Let him have happiness and peace.

I pray for every lonely heart to achieve
this desire by first knowing the love of
God in Jesus Christ. In Christ, there is
strength and hope for all things. Not even
death can remove our hope. In death,
we have eternal life, but, you have
also ordained for us to transmit your
joy in this life as well. Help John and
I to serve you in love, peace and joy.