Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Hannah means GRACE

Hanna Projected Path
Hanna Projected Path
Hannah is grace in Hebrew. I hope that counts as Hurricane
Hannah blows my way. This one seems to be stuck on the
East Coast and it may possibly hit my home if it shifts
a tiny bit... very anxious....but, I know God will sustain
us, too. That's the greatest thing about faith. There
is always strength in God. There is always grace.

I thank God that Gustav was not as fierce as Katrina,
and that the infrastructure was prepared to evacuate
the people to safety. I pray that this is the case for the
next week as people travel home, and that God will
have mercy on the poor weary travellers, especially
children, the elderly and infirm.

Father, in Jesus Name, I thank you for your blessings
and for being our rock in the storms. It is during these
perilous moments when we are forced to abandon our
own pride and seek your mercy and strength. While
calamities seem like a curse, they can likewise be
a renewal of faith and hope. I pray that your mercy
is abundant in restoring those who have had homes
destroyed, or have lost loved ones and pets. I ask
that no lives be lost in the aftermath of the storms,
and that Hannah will take no human lives or hurt
animals. I know that all things abide by your will,
and this is where our faith is restored, by recognizing
your authority over all living things in the universe.
You have stated that a sparrow does not expire
without you, and we are precious in your sight.
Please protect us and the sparrow.

But, we all must die. The greatest blessing in my
life is to hope for eternal life and beauty in our
Lord Jesus Christ. Tonight, I was meditating on
your great love, and I felt like my heart couldn't
contain my adoration. The tears that touched my
cheeks felt like a baptism. Thank you for our
tears, and even they are counted, as the hairs
on head. One day, our tears will be contained
in a bottle and thrown into the lake of forgetfulness.
We abide at all times in tremendous hope of
knowing the ecstasy of seeing your face and
being in your presence.

I wish I was a better Christian. I hate knowing
that many will always judge my Lord by my
many flaws and weaknesses, although I seek
to be perfect. I pray to be a better ambassador
of the Kingdom of God, and that every heart
that seeks the peace of God will receive the
gift of faith, to see your face in their mind's
eye and feel those tears of adoration wash
them clean.

In my own strength, I would go down to Hell
and deserve that fate. Even in Hell, I would
adore you Lord. I would praise you knowing
your are perfect love and our Creator. I do
not deserve to utter your Name or have such
an impossible hope of having the crown of
your Kingdom. I pray that my days are spent
seeking this standard of perfection by the
mark of Your perfection which is unconditional
love.

We are vulnerable and weak creatures, capable
of incredible depths, yet, torn asunder by our
lusts and rebellions. Being a Christian only
makes me aware of my many sins, and getting
victory over these takes a lifetime of loving
you and letting go of my own human will
and carnal rebellion against the spirit of
God.

I pray for Grace. I pray that all those who
are rocked by the winds of destruction are
planted on the rock which never rolls.

Please Father, I beseech you for this grace.
I beg for your mercy. I ask for your manifold
kindness in helping me to overcome this
storm, and all the invisible storms I struggle
against each day. In Jesus Name, I ask for
a tsunami of grace to flood America. I
pray for the Latter Rain to revive the weary,
renew the backslidden and hardened, and
save a humongous harvest of souls.

In Your sight, we are reborn. In Your eyes,
we have the perfection of Jesus Christ, who
loves us. Give us the vision in this country
to launch a final revival for the harvest is
near.

In another direction, I pray for my soul mate,
John, suffering more than I can bear.

Father, please find a way for us to be back
together. I want to spend my life with him,
and being apart has caused him more pain
than I ever understood. I always felt he
would find someone else, but, he said
he can't replace me anymore than I can
replace him. I was the happiest I ever
was when I was with him. I know we
weren't married, and my rebellion was
not going to go unchecked, no matter
what excuses I made.

I realize that when we pledge our souls
to Christ, and then transgress, it is
a mark of our adoption to be chastised
and corrected. But, your mercy is
greater than the cosmos themselves..
John and I have suffered for our
rebellious ways. We should have
gotten married, and our declaration
of common law was not enough,
and not sufficient for your standards.

I don't know why I transgress, and I
deeply regret rebelling, particularly
when it cost me the one man I have
truly loved. If you put us together
again, I promise I will marry him.

I pray for a miracle in achieving my
heart's desire, if it is your will. I believe
it is, because otherwise John would have
found someone else to love, since he
is very desirable and cute, and has
a generous nature, good work ethic,
good J.O.B., which these days makes
him a catch for girls half my age. It's
a miracle he still wants an old gal like
me, so it must be your will for us.
Help us to stop being tortured.

I always hurt and disappoint him.
It's just very painful and difficult to
maintain a long-distance romance when
we had such a great life living together.
I think if we had gotten married, we'd
still be together, and not in this lonely
and desperate state.

I always feel blessed to have Jesus Christ,
and even in misery, I feel I have consolation,
but, I confess that I am dreadfully lonely
without my John. I miss his wit, his eccentric
poetical persona, his music, and how I wish
I could tell him how nice it is to have someone
write songs about me, even if they are in
the genre of how much I tore his heart
to pieces.

Why is love so cruel? In our case, I think it's
because we should have gotten married, and
being rebellious cost us six years of separation
and isolation. I promise not to rebel, and to
abide by your laws, to the best of my ability.
I thank you Lord for correcting me, and for
teaching me. Every day is open to receive
hope, knowledge and joy.

Well, my 3 am ramblings are straying far
from the original topic of the hurricanes, but,
I feel as if I've been swept away, gotten off
course, and desire a return to grace.

Help me Lord, and please, please Father
in Jesus' Name, help to heal John's heart.
I can't bear to hear his voice fade with
emotion and confessions of obsession
with me. It's almost too much considering
how much I loved this man to hear how
badly I hurt him.

Even if it's not your will for John and I to
be together in this life, please have mercy
on John, and gently take him out of the
storms that have blown him off course.
Let him have happiness and peace.

I pray for every lonely heart to achieve
this desire by first knowing the love of
God in Jesus Christ. In Christ, there is
strength and hope for all things. Not even
death can remove our hope. In death,
we have eternal life, but, you have
also ordained for us to transmit your
joy in this life as well. Help John and
I to serve you in love, peace and joy.

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