I had one of my favorite type of dreams last night,
a time-travel one. In this dream, the details are
murky, since I didn't write them down. But, the
memorable essence, as is typical of these dreams,
is the remarkable sensory impressions of being
physically present in a totally foreign ancient
time. In this dream, it was the early 19th Century,
and the only other clear memory was that I
was in the presence of Thomas Paine.
Even without recalling any meaningful event,
I can see his rooms, even with a fireplace
roaring, and i even recall his twinkling and
kind eyes.
I know. Why?
I sometimes fill days with reading history, so,
the fact that Paine is familiar to me and would
lodge in my subconscious isn't surprising. I am
someone whose Christianity was influenced by
growing up in Philadelphia, enamoured by the
city's history, and more specifically, it's Quaker
heritage.
Paine was a theist, and renounced the belief
in Christ as Savior, so he was generally vilified
by the same Quakers and culture. His beliefs,
piety, and dedication to humanism and good
works were more linear with modern Judaism
than Christianity, so he was renounced as a
heretic.
The Paine I encountered appeared duly
enlightened. After meeting him in my dream,
I understood why the top clerics of the age were
obsessed with obtaining his confession of faith
towards the end of his life. In every way, he
seemed like a prophet, and influenced the world's
culture in significant ways.
Like the clergy and pious Christians of his day,
I share a similar remorse and concern that he
closed the door to Christ, but, we each have our
own destiny and relationship with God.
Still, I felt a kinship with him, as I do with many
who I feel are otherwise enlightened more than
my brethren in the faith, who share my beliefs,
but, are often too dogmatic in their approach to both
Christ and everything else, while professing and
exalting an air of smug confidence that they possess
the true keys.
Thinking about Paine this morning, I remembered
a very unique friendship I developed with another
unusual kindred spirit. He was a nearly 90 year
old blind German Jew, who lived in California, and his
name was Dr. Bronner. He was Albert Einstein's
first cousin, but, unlike his mother's nephew, his
family suffered the horrors of Nazi Germany.
He told me of his mother's particularly heartbreaking
death. He knew these details because he was very
psychic, and I'll get to that later.
The Einstein cousins in the USA started a soap
company. I think it was originally Einstein-Bronner.
Bronner soaps are AMAZING. They are organic, pure,
and the highest quality at a low price. Those familiar
with the brand, have encountered the ubiquitous
scrolling philosophy and religious sentiments
he filled the labels with. That's how I actually
got to know him. There was a teeeeeensy phone
number of the company on the bottom of the
label, and I called it. HE ANSWERED! Who
would expect that? I asked if he always
answered, but, as usual, his answer was
cryptic, indicating that he was waiting for
me, alone, but, I knew he was full of it.
We'd speak for hours and hours late at night.
It was three hours different, and even then,
it didn't matter. We'd get off the phone at
2 AM his time. He hated the culture of
California, and the young people he saw
as being vapid and airheads. He was
enthralled with a group a Philly teenagers
who were mystics and seekers, even if
we were otherwise your typical Jesus
freaks. We departed from our brethren
because we still sought the darker mysteries,
and were obsessed with finding the path
of truth, retracing the steps of the founders
of the nation, and their affiliations with
secret societies. There wasn't anything
too weird for us, but, this was in the
days of the irreverent Robert Anton
Wilson, and he opened up the doors for
our own investigations.
Bronner certainly didn't share our views
on many things, but, he adored talking to
us because we dared to go there. He wanted
to fix me up with his grandson. He even
said that after we set up our society, he'd
send him to us. LOL. I wondered if he
was cute?
I think about this dear soul from time to time, because,
talk about enlightened... this man who was Albert
Einstein's first cousin was the only infallible psychic
that I ever encountered. Though he was blind,
he could see things that were clearer than those
with eyes. It amused and annoyed him that
I was constantly putting him to the test for
the entertainment of my friends. I'd call him, and
I must say, he was sweet on me. We'd never met,
but, he knew what I looked like and described me
to a tee. In the days before caller ID, he
knew I was calling from Philadelphia.
Here's how I stunned my friends, though, with
the demonstration of his mind-blowing accuracy.
I'd have them write down questions, and before
they were finished writing, he'd start answering
them in chilling detail.
I think of him because he was the one who turned
me on to Thomas Paine. He wanted my friends and
me to revise a society of sorts in Philly, and used
to get animated and so happy discussing it. He
was wonderful.
Bronner, considered himself an Essene Jew, which
was convoluted into a new agey hodge-podge which
included his beliefs on UFOs. But, I'll tell you what,
he opened my eyes to the fact that UFOs are more
possibly from the spiritual realm than neighboring
star systems. He used to call Earth a spaceship.
He sounds off, but, he was very interesting, and
brilliant. He had a thick German Jewish accent,
but, unlike many German Jews who had more of
a Yiddish accent, he had more of a patrician German
accent, with the guttural rolling rs.
What impressed me with him, and what makes men
like Paine stand out enough for me to carry them
in my memory and subconscious is that they don't
let the accepted concepts of things stop them from
seeking greater clarity. I may not agree with Paine's
conclusion that Christ's blood was not necessary
for redemption, or in Bronner's assertions in a
belief for a New Age Millennium of enlightenment,
but, I am blessed to be able to come away from
absorbing their views with my own enhanced
views.
Sometimes listening to others helps me to refine
my own point of view, whether it is religious, or
scientific and philosophical. Often, it help me to
strengthen my Christian views to read Paine, because,
as brilliant as he was, and as clear as his other visions,
like Bronner, they don't have the vision that I have.
It's in this sharing of idea that Bronner and Paine
believed in the most. For this reason, I carry these
two exceptional men around with me, touching back
to things they said, or their way of seeing, and it
has in turn helped to give me unique views.
Like Paine, although I am an avid believer in
Jesus Christ, I have been often chastised by
ministers and elders, for my individual views
on many things that are contrary to their fixed
catechisms and doctrine. They have all but
given up on my inability to be shepherded in
one denomination.
We don't have to all have the identical beliefs,
either, for us to not judge one another, or be
assured that someone else is going to Hell.
First of all, we don't know who God will have
mercy on, when it is time for him to judge
men. All I am comfortable with is what has
struck a chord with my soul, mainly that I
believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God,
who was the promised Messiah, son of King
David, scion of Abraham and Adam, who
became the Lamb of God, in accordance to
the Law, and God's Plan of redemption and
enlightenment.
I believe that through Him alone are the
Keys to Heaven and Hell, and that by Him,
were all things created. The invisible God,
is manifest in Him. He created man, and then
opened His Covenant, by inviting the species
vanquished from paradise, back towards the
way, by the covenants he forged with Abraham,
his friend, and then through the lessons of
the Law, that He instilled by Moses. The Law
showed us the nature of our mortality and
sin, virtue and repentance, but, it also
ultimately condemned our souls, for none
lives completely spotless lives, and if God
is perfect, there must be a bridge of
grace in order for us to truly fellowship
with a Holy God.
To many people, even enlightened men,
like Thomas Paine, this became foolishness
and superstitious mumbo-jumbo that he
felt was almost evil because it impeded the
growth of men. He felt that unless we can
overcome the superstitions of dogmatic
religion, we could not embrace science, and
in his day, he was right.
A strange thing has happened, however,
in our own unique era of history, from
the 20th Century to today. Science has
begun to validate Biblical values, more and
more. This is a topic which would require me
to write for months, and I don't need to
justify my views right now, only my opinion
that scientific advancements CONFIRM
God's existence, and even the truths that
Jesus Christ and the Prophets espoused.
In Paine's day, they had no guarantee that
Christ or the Apostles, prophets, and Bible,
were more than allegory.
We have now had many opportunities to
see scientific and archaeological evidence that
confirms these original civilizations and events.
The skeptics will always deny, but, for those
looking for real enlightenment, we have never
been in a better age for that to unfurl, and in
a way that philosophers and scientists, religious
dreamers and seekers of the past ages, only
dreamed of being able to access.
The only thing we need to do is keep an open
mind, and pray for wisdom.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Real Terror
The senseless Mumbai massacre is the cause
of my tears today.
I am heartbroken to learn the
Chabad couple were slaughtered. I am
grateful their child was spared, but,
I love the Lubavitchers. They have been
magnanimous and generous towards the
Messianic community, and tend to be
amazing people. Strangely, their doctrine
is a natural branch of Messianic Judaism,
even if they don't recognize it that
way. We believe Y'shua BenMiryan is the
Messiah. They are awaiting the Messiah,
who they hope is Rabbi Shneerson, but,
usually do not blaspheme Jesus Christ's
Name, as sadly, too many otherwise
pious Jews find acceptable.
They're waiting for the Messiah, and if it's
Jesus, of Mary, again, most of them say
they're fine with it.
To fundamentalist Christians, this may not
be good enough, but, I guarantee you, they
are good people who are seeking YHWH and
HIS Anointed One.
The victims of the appalling Mumbai attack
are in my heart and mind. The thing
that inflames me more than the senselessness,
is that despite their hostility towards the
British, Americans and Zionists, the vast
majority of those killed were peaceful Muslims,
eating lunch, catching trains, living their
lives, getting married, and participating
in being members of humanity.
If these terrorists truly want to target
an entity like the West, or Jews, who they
believe to be the source of God's wrath, or
whatever, then, why kill mainly Muslims?
Jews, Christians, and Muslims may not agree
on everything, but, all three religions
espouse the same original message of doing
good, and never harming the innocent.
You cannot call it collateral damage when
the targets of the attack were in an
Islamic majority region, and were the
main victims.
It would have some justification if they
blew up subway systems in London, or the
Lincoln tunnel in NYC, or some target in
Jerusalem, but, they picked a city of
people who kneel three times a day to
Allah. It boggles my mind. It is equivalent
to a group of Nazis blowing up a gestapo
building to kill a Jewish janitor.
These terrorists allegedly are Pakistani
second generation English citizens, with
English passports. Cities in England like
Birmingham are now predominately populated
by these immigrants. In fact, they have
the hubris to demand that Sharia law have
an equal footing with English courts, and
have actively persecuted Christians, even
designating places where Anglos are not
allowed to go, because they're near mosques,
and the English are profane. Mind you, they
are in ENGLAND and in a country that is
still on charter as a "Christian" nation.
This will change with the troglodyte Prince
and his inbred sons. Charles wants to dismantle
the great Christian heritage of England,
which won't be hard at this point because
Europe has abandoned Christ decades ago.
That's why I believe Europe has been
swallowed by the final beast, the one
with the seven heads and ten crowns,
and that this is the EU, or the progenitor
of the final political beast that confronts
and abolishes Christianity before Christ
comes back. This is the final Caesar.
The ultimate competitor for the hearts,
souls, resources and substance of men
who will serve him as, and in place of
God.
It's a paradox, but, considering the mess
England and Europe are in, it's no surprise
that they're heading in this direction.
Europeans have always been Orientalists and
held great awe in regards to Islamic
culture and mystique, more so than their
own fundamental roots in Christianity,
or even indigenous folk cultures and
heritages. This is due to the heresy of
beliefs that are prominent in the rites
of Freemasonry, which has for hundreds
of years been planning a final purge of
Christ, in lieu of reestablishing an
"Illumination" replacement, in the
form of their ideal God, who is the
one who they think allows them to
control the Earth as if they are gods.
Just as the reptile told Adam and Eve
that they can be like god, that is the
ultimate game plan in the eternal battle
that rages amongst the angels themselves,
and for the souls of mankind, the usurpers
of the position in Heaven that the fallen
angels and Lucifer held as being
appointed to Christ.
They are vanquished, and replaced
with humans. They hate the humans
that obey their objectives more
than they hate Christ.
Regarding the malignant spread
of hostile foreign nationals
implanting their families in
England, and European countries,
they had a 100 year plan, and it's
taken them only 1/4 of that time
to replace the cultures of the
nations of Europe who welcomed
them into their cities.
It's been a dazzlingly rapid process, and
far ahead of the timeline that the political
Islamic world foresaw when they began the
Trojan horse immigration strategies.
They were not only welcomes by Britain, but,
given council houses at the taxpayer's
expense, welfare benefits that exceed
the working class's spendable income,
the ones who are slaving to have an
unreasonable sum taken from them to
provide the government with funds for
this loony tunes Socialism of theirs.
It even makes some sense for the
working class to fund the monarchs,
since, it's not unusual for societies
of man, or insects, to nurture their
kings and queens. But, to bring foreigners
who hate you, and want your society
and it's culture to cease, into your
land, feed and house them, without
expecting them to work or pay taxes
is the madness that is unprecedented
in human or insect history.
I'm not against Socialism, in theory.
In fact, it's in my DNA, both as a
disciple of Christ, and the ancestor of
the original Antichrist Bolsheviks, but,
their models were for each person to work
according to their skills and abilities,
distributing their abundance amongst the
elderly, the young and infirm. NEVER
has any society imposed the burden of
taxing the working classes to give those
who won't work a superior lifestyle, or
reward them for illegitimate children
used as a way to barter higher wages for
their non-productive lifestyle.
Even then,if they are citizens, it still
fits into a form of the Socialized State.
But, to allow ideological enemies into the
State and nourish them, even as they
propagate treason, contempt for their
adopted nation's culture, and brazenly
boast of plans to wipe those people off
the planet, and take over, it is then,
chaos, and sheer madness to behold the
mess in England.
They may even give the Mumbai shooters
refuge, since they're so socially retarded
at this point, that they would rescue
them as citizens of Britain to save them
from execution in Pakistan or India
for their savage carnage.
When a nation like Britain is nurturing
these armies of second-generation fanatic
extremists, bent on destroying the West,
then, the war on terror has become
strategically untenable for the West,
in my opinion.
To a lesser degree, MUCH LESS, the USA
has turned their heads and allowed some
of the same people to flourish in our
communities. In my town, there is a huge
Islamic center which harbored the 911
terrorists and provided Mohammed Atta,
et al, with the support they needed,
not to mention, the propaganda, by the
Anti-West theology they preach.
Some of the radical clerics in
this group in my own neighborhood have
been affiliated with Al Quaida operatives,
and are very suspect.
However, the FBI and government agents are
very much a presence here, too. Sometimes,
I see G-men strolling around my own complex,
with it's large Jewish population, when
there has been chatter, or during Jewish
holidays. These G-men stick out like
sore thumbs in the Bermuda short tropical
paradise, where even CEOs of companies
don't walk around in the heat in black
suits.OK, they don't actually wear black
suits, but, they are men in black.
At least the USA still has intelligence,
literally.
England is beyond salvageable and has lost,
first in abandoning Christ and Christianity,
and now in replacing it with this violent
culture that is flourishing.
(I believe) this is happening because of
desperately corrupt men, even Prince Charles,
who foster the notion of chaos, and are on
board to allow the final battle, believing
they can accomplish the last touches of
massive social engineering by these means.
Specifically, to finally wipe Christianity
off the face of the Earth.
Their misguided belief in chaos accomplishes
two things: Eliminate the excess population
that compete for natural resources, land
and riches, and that from the suffering
and devastation of chaos, they can forge
an entirely new global order where there
will be no chance for any resistance.
Just as the terrorists are hammered with
false beliefs, even Western industrialists
and leaders, those in their gentlemen clubs
of power and prestige, who consider themselves
the masters and overseers, have an equally
as dismal and cynical view of mankind and
the planet. They have an equivalent malevolent
and selfish goal of controlling the lives
of others for their own gratification,
in competition to the devotion that men
provide to our Creator.
This has enraged Lucifer since Day 1, and
the culmination of his war against the
Angels is to capture and eliminate the
presence of Jews and Christians, those
who inherit Christ's genes, both physical
and spiritual genes.
But, on a greater and more comforting
note, all of this has been prophesied,
so, the outcome is also easily as
comforting, because Christ has assured
us that there is no force in heaven
or in Earth, or in Hell, that can
separate us from the LOVE of Jesus
Christ, and nothing will prevent him
from returning in the day when the
Name of Christ is forbidden across
the globe.
The final irony is HIS.
The advent of this Christless
world without Christians and
Jews is called, "THE DAY OF
THE LORD." He will exact
vengeance and the angels
will fight and expel the
false deities and demons who
have controlled the destiny
of billions of souls for too
long.
It is coming. He is coming.
Finally, the terror of the Lord
is absolute to the wicked, or
to those who abandon the way.
of my tears today.
I am heartbroken to learn the
Chabad couple were slaughtered. I am
grateful their child was spared, but,
I love the Lubavitchers. They have been
magnanimous and generous towards the
Messianic community, and tend to be
amazing people. Strangely, their doctrine
is a natural branch of Messianic Judaism,
even if they don't recognize it that
way. We believe Y'shua BenMiryan is the
Messiah. They are awaiting the Messiah,
who they hope is Rabbi Shneerson, but,
usually do not blaspheme Jesus Christ's
Name, as sadly, too many otherwise
pious Jews find acceptable.
They're waiting for the Messiah, and if it's
Jesus, of Mary, again, most of them say
they're fine with it.
To fundamentalist Christians, this may not
be good enough, but, I guarantee you, they
are good people who are seeking YHWH and
HIS Anointed One.
The victims of the appalling Mumbai attack
are in my heart and mind. The thing
that inflames me more than the senselessness,
is that despite their hostility towards the
British, Americans and Zionists, the vast
majority of those killed were peaceful Muslims,
eating lunch, catching trains, living their
lives, getting married, and participating
in being members of humanity.
If these terrorists truly want to target
an entity like the West, or Jews, who they
believe to be the source of God's wrath, or
whatever, then, why kill mainly Muslims?
Jews, Christians, and Muslims may not agree
on everything, but, all three religions
espouse the same original message of doing
good, and never harming the innocent.
You cannot call it collateral damage when
the targets of the attack were in an
Islamic majority region, and were the
main victims.
It would have some justification if they
blew up subway systems in London, or the
Lincoln tunnel in NYC, or some target in
Jerusalem, but, they picked a city of
people who kneel three times a day to
Allah. It boggles my mind. It is equivalent
to a group of Nazis blowing up a gestapo
building to kill a Jewish janitor.
These terrorists allegedly are Pakistani
second generation English citizens, with
English passports. Cities in England like
Birmingham are now predominately populated
by these immigrants. In fact, they have
the hubris to demand that Sharia law have
an equal footing with English courts, and
have actively persecuted Christians, even
designating places where Anglos are not
allowed to go, because they're near mosques,
and the English are profane. Mind you, they
are in ENGLAND and in a country that is
still on charter as a "Christian" nation.
This will change with the troglodyte Prince
and his inbred sons. Charles wants to dismantle
the great Christian heritage of England,
which won't be hard at this point because
Europe has abandoned Christ decades ago.
That's why I believe Europe has been
swallowed by the final beast, the one
with the seven heads and ten crowns,
and that this is the EU, or the progenitor
of the final political beast that confronts
and abolishes Christianity before Christ
comes back. This is the final Caesar.
The ultimate competitor for the hearts,
souls, resources and substance of men
who will serve him as, and in place of
God.
It's a paradox, but, considering the mess
England and Europe are in, it's no surprise
that they're heading in this direction.
Europeans have always been Orientalists and
held great awe in regards to Islamic
culture and mystique, more so than their
own fundamental roots in Christianity,
or even indigenous folk cultures and
heritages. This is due to the heresy of
beliefs that are prominent in the rites
of Freemasonry, which has for hundreds
of years been planning a final purge of
Christ, in lieu of reestablishing an
"Illumination" replacement, in the
form of their ideal God, who is the
one who they think allows them to
control the Earth as if they are gods.
Just as the reptile told Adam and Eve
that they can be like god, that is the
ultimate game plan in the eternal battle
that rages amongst the angels themselves,
and for the souls of mankind, the usurpers
of the position in Heaven that the fallen
angels and Lucifer held as being
appointed to Christ.
They are vanquished, and replaced
with humans. They hate the humans
that obey their objectives more
than they hate Christ.
Regarding the malignant spread
of hostile foreign nationals
implanting their families in
England, and European countries,
they had a 100 year plan, and it's
taken them only 1/4 of that time
to replace the cultures of the
nations of Europe who welcomed
them into their cities.
It's been a dazzlingly rapid process, and
far ahead of the timeline that the political
Islamic world foresaw when they began the
Trojan horse immigration strategies.
They were not only welcomes by Britain, but,
given council houses at the taxpayer's
expense, welfare benefits that exceed
the working class's spendable income,
the ones who are slaving to have an
unreasonable sum taken from them to
provide the government with funds for
this loony tunes Socialism of theirs.
It even makes some sense for the
working class to fund the monarchs,
since, it's not unusual for societies
of man, or insects, to nurture their
kings and queens. But, to bring foreigners
who hate you, and want your society
and it's culture to cease, into your
land, feed and house them, without
expecting them to work or pay taxes
is the madness that is unprecedented
in human or insect history.
I'm not against Socialism, in theory.
In fact, it's in my DNA, both as a
disciple of Christ, and the ancestor of
the original Antichrist Bolsheviks, but,
their models were for each person to work
according to their skills and abilities,
distributing their abundance amongst the
elderly, the young and infirm. NEVER
has any society imposed the burden of
taxing the working classes to give those
who won't work a superior lifestyle, or
reward them for illegitimate children
used as a way to barter higher wages for
their non-productive lifestyle.
Even then,if they are citizens, it still
fits into a form of the Socialized State.
But, to allow ideological enemies into the
State and nourish them, even as they
propagate treason, contempt for their
adopted nation's culture, and brazenly
boast of plans to wipe those people off
the planet, and take over, it is then,
chaos, and sheer madness to behold the
mess in England.
They may even give the Mumbai shooters
refuge, since they're so socially retarded
at this point, that they would rescue
them as citizens of Britain to save them
from execution in Pakistan or India
for their savage carnage.
When a nation like Britain is nurturing
these armies of second-generation fanatic
extremists, bent on destroying the West,
then, the war on terror has become
strategically untenable for the West,
in my opinion.
To a lesser degree, MUCH LESS, the USA
has turned their heads and allowed some
of the same people to flourish in our
communities. In my town, there is a huge
Islamic center which harbored the 911
terrorists and provided Mohammed Atta,
et al, with the support they needed,
not to mention, the propaganda, by the
Anti-West theology they preach.
Some of the radical clerics in
this group in my own neighborhood have
been affiliated with Al Quaida operatives,
and are very suspect.
However, the FBI and government agents are
very much a presence here, too. Sometimes,
I see G-men strolling around my own complex,
with it's large Jewish population, when
there has been chatter, or during Jewish
holidays. These G-men stick out like
sore thumbs in the Bermuda short tropical
paradise, where even CEOs of companies
don't walk around in the heat in black
suits.OK, they don't actually wear black
suits, but, they are men in black.
At least the USA still has intelligence,
literally.
England is beyond salvageable and has lost,
first in abandoning Christ and Christianity,
and now in replacing it with this violent
culture that is flourishing.
(I believe) this is happening because of
desperately corrupt men, even Prince Charles,
who foster the notion of chaos, and are on
board to allow the final battle, believing
they can accomplish the last touches of
massive social engineering by these means.
Specifically, to finally wipe Christianity
off the face of the Earth.
Their misguided belief in chaos accomplishes
two things: Eliminate the excess population
that compete for natural resources, land
and riches, and that from the suffering
and devastation of chaos, they can forge
an entirely new global order where there
will be no chance for any resistance.
Just as the terrorists are hammered with
false beliefs, even Western industrialists
and leaders, those in their gentlemen clubs
of power and prestige, who consider themselves
the masters and overseers, have an equally
as dismal and cynical view of mankind and
the planet. They have an equivalent malevolent
and selfish goal of controlling the lives
of others for their own gratification,
in competition to the devotion that men
provide to our Creator.
This has enraged Lucifer since Day 1, and
the culmination of his war against the
Angels is to capture and eliminate the
presence of Jews and Christians, those
who inherit Christ's genes, both physical
and spiritual genes.
But, on a greater and more comforting
note, all of this has been prophesied,
so, the outcome is also easily as
comforting, because Christ has assured
us that there is no force in heaven
or in Earth, or in Hell, that can
separate us from the LOVE of Jesus
Christ, and nothing will prevent him
from returning in the day when the
Name of Christ is forbidden across
the globe.
The final irony is HIS.
The advent of this Christless
world without Christians and
Jews is called, "THE DAY OF
THE LORD." He will exact
vengeance and the angels
will fight and expel the
false deities and demons who
have controlled the destiny
of billions of souls for too
long.
It is coming. He is coming.
Finally, the terror of the Lord
is absolute to the wicked, or
to those who abandon the way.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanks
While waiting for my turkey to finish, andthe magic button to pop, I have to rejoice in
the many blessings that the Lord has provided
in the past year.
I am well on the road to recovery, and have
started to feel better and more optimistic
about the future. My family has survived for
another year, inspite of cancer and other
setbacks that troubled us.
I received my settlement and money for back pay
for three years, which turned around a bleak
financial outlook. Debts are paid, or being paid
off, and there is even the bonus of being able
to finally buy new things.
Although my hair is long, and for me, surprisingly
thick and grey-free, I've always hated long
hair and it's difficult for me to maintain with
my damaged arm. I can go back to hairdressers
for styling, get my nails done if I want, too.
I have new clothing, jewelry, and even new perfumes
that I didn't even consider buying before. I have
to confess that I even bought a designer bag,
something that I was philosophically against
since my 20s. I feel guilty, in some senses,
but, I've lived minimalistic for over five
years, so, the investment was not as frivolous
as it sounded, and it helped lift my spirits,
not to mention improve my appearance.
I feel pretty enough again, at least comfortable
for an old bird like me. People still claim that
I look 20 years younger, and while I hardly
believe that, I don't look bad, and that's all
that matters to me. I don't mind looking my
age, as long as I am not a hag.
The most abundant blessing in my life though
is my relationship with Jesus Christ, which
has sustained me through the worst of days.
The joy of loving him, and the indescribable
peace of watching him provide my needs,
and answer my prayers, in his time, have
constantly reaffirmed my beliefs.
We walk by faith, but, it's so wonderful to
be able to ask our Father in Heaven for
certain requests, and have him faithfully
answer our prayers. Sometimes, they're
not exactly the way we have requested, but,
he has never not answered a prayer with
something more positive.
For instance, I used to pray for pregnancy
and felt abandoned and forsaken, the
proverbial cursed barren woman. I love
children, and wanted more than anything
to nurture and raise my own child, but, he
didn't grace me with this one thing, which
I considered the greatest privilege of being
human. I can't say that I didn't feel
sorry for myself, or even chastised for sins
that I didn't confess.
Then, when my brother became acutely
ill with leukemia, his only hope for a cure
was if I was a good bone marrow match.
I was. That was a miracle, because, I matched
him so perfectly, that they said it was amazing
considering we were not twins.
If I would have had a child, I would have had
antibodies in my system that would have
probably killed him.
By depriving me of the ability to produce a child,
God allowed my blood to save my brother's life.
It was then that it all made sense to me, and
I hold these lessons dearly, because it reminds
me that in time, we will have the answers to
all things. It also reassures me that even when
God does not seem to answer our prayers in
a timely fashion, he always provides the
most compassionate and omniscient guidance.
So, thanks to the Lord for our many blessings.
Father, in Jesus' Name, I praise you for your
mercy and righteousness. You have never let
me down or forsaken me. You have never let
me be without a roof over my head, or provided
me with nourishment, both physically and
spiritually. You have been an umbrella over
my family, for your Name's sake, and you have
restored me time and time again.
I am grateful for the peaceful spirit that has
cleansed me of much of my human bitterness
and strife. I am so thankful for the ability to
have joy and happiness, to laugh and appreciate
the beautiful world around me, the precious
animals who I love, and the people who I hold
dear. I am blessed to be able to still enlist awe
at sunrises and sunsets, appreciating the
wonderful natural world that is constantly
inspiring.
I pray for our nation, and for President Obama
and his family. May God protect and bless them
tonight. I pray as our first family, they are filled
with the Holy Spirit, and are guides to the rest
of the world, as examples of righteousness.
I pray that this truly can be a new era for
America, particularly since the rest of the
world is dark and dangerous. May the Angels
stand by America with swords drawn.
In the Name of Jesus Christ, I praise God,
and bless all my brothers and sisters in
the faith. May the Lord provide us with
his light and peace.
The Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Broo-HAHA!
I finally saw the much anticipated Housewives of
Atlanta "REUNION" show. It did not disappoint. I
realize that there are far more important issues
in the world, and I'll write about them, but, I
got hooked on this season's gorgeous ladies of
Atlanta, and I'm not apologizing.
What was great about this season was how much conflict
there was. NeNe and Kim were close friends, and that
friendship came apart merely by the presence of
cameras and millions of voyeurs. The same with the
very elegant Sheree and NeNe, who never had any
previous spots in their long friendship.
It goes to show how superficial so many of our
friendships are, until they are put to the test.
In this case, the hotbox was Bravo. It accelerated
the tension, and actually, enlightened NeNe to
recognize the deceitfulness of Kim and Sheree.
I don't think any of these women are bad people,
at all. But, I don't leave Season 1 with a very
positive impression of Kim or Sheree, even though
Sheree got a pretty bad rap just for being a
spoiled primadonna. I grew up with princesses,
and it's second nature to me, and I would be one,
too, if I had money. She still seems like a
pretty caring person, and I think she's a
responsible parent.
Kim is an unfit mom. Besides spoiling her tweeny
daughter Brielle, who is an adorable and very
sassy kid, she is a terrible role model. She is
a paid mistress of a rich married man, and has
had a former life as a stripper, if not a hooker.
I think she was actually a real hooker. Any woman
who buys her 11 year old 18,000 dollar parties
with stretch limos and designer bags is an idiot,
even if they are billionaires. This child is
going to believe she is entitled to this life
without putting anything more into herself than
fake boobs, fake hair, and sex tricks.
I don't like moms who smoke around their kids
either, or expose them to their trashy behavior.
Kim, whether she's 30, like she swears, or 49,
like she seems, (and I'm not being mean... If
she and I were together, she would be considered
my older aunt, if not mom) should act like an
adult, not a party princess. She's not Paris
Hilton. Paris is not a mom. When her former
BFF Nicole Ritchie became a mommy, she dropped
off the TMZ and tabloid radar to concentrate on
her kids, and I actually believe Paris Hilton
would do this too.
I think it's a disgrace when moms aspire to pose
nude or act trashy when they have impressionable
young daughters. They are not free to act like
whores when they are the templates for their
children's futures, too.
What is Brielle going to do to defend her mom
when kids gossip and behind her back are laughing
at her, and comparing her to the slut her mom
portrayed herself to be to an entire Western
Hemisphere? It was one thing when no one knew
this broad, and that's the perfect word for her,
but, now, she is determined to put herself out
there, her narcissism exceeding any thought of
what she's doing to two little girls. Just like
she is uncaring about polluting their little
airwaves with smoke, she is equally as indifferent
to creating two little future whores, because
they idolize her, and will have to defend her.
NeNe was my favorite, and I'll get to that, but,
I actually am in awe of DeShawn. She is a very
positive role model for African American girls,
but, more importantly, she is a great role model
for young girls. She shows how you can aspire to
do your best, and if you're blessed to have
gotten wealth, that you can devote yourself
to your community, helping others, and being a
great mom. It's a shame she doesn't have a little
girl. She is the right template, except for a
tad too much materialism, but, I'm not condemning
her since if I had her money, I'd be wearing
a Rolex too. She's even getting her divinity
degree. I really think she's beautiful, inside
and out. She's the Anti-Kim.
Lisa was delightful. She was sometimes too energetic,
but, it's real, so, that's who she is. She is
ethereally beautiful, by far one of the prettiest
housewives in all the series. I really like her.
She's someone who I would like to be friends with.
She wasn't ashamed to say she couldn't afford to
throw away money, and she didn't act like she was
richer than Bill Gates, like Sheree sometimes
came across.
NeNe and her husband Greg are awesome people. I
adore NeNe, like everyone else who watched the
series. It's funny because I thought I would
hate her, but, she is the real deal. Funny,
honest, smart and savvy, she is a natural star.
Ironically, she even has an incredible singing
voice, unlike Kim, who honestly has the worse
sounding voice I have ever heard. It was worse
than William Hung. No one on Earth sings that
bad.
NeNe would be someone I would cherish as a friend,
and listen to her, because, she would tell me
the truth. The fault I had with Sheree was
when she fawned over Kim telling her she had
a beautiful voice. That was ridiculous and
obviously a lie. But, I think Sheree, despite
her bravado, does have some insecurities that
she may not acknowledge. Her need to show her
ex-husband her success, and flaunt material
things seem to point to her innate feelings
of inadequacy. She is a very lovely lady,
though, and got a bad rap for siding with
the two-faced Kim against NeNe and DeShawn.
While it's very natural to loathe Kim, without
her, the season would have not had the same
chemistry and excitement. She is at least
true to herself in this sense. If she is
a prostitute, then, she is willing to put
it out there, and let herself be seen.
No one watching the season would come away
believing that Kim was anything other than
what NeNe and Lisa called her, "Hooker."
The most pathetic moment was when Kim blamed
her wig on a cancer scare she had three years
ago. First she implied that she lost her hair
due to cancer, and then dropped the ball, and
let Andy Cohen back her into a corner where
she had to admit she didn't have cancer.
According to her, a doctor friend thought
she had cancer, and she went three weeks
thinking she had cancer. What that had to
do with her wearing a Malibu Barbie doll
wig all season eludes me.
Whatever... lol. For us pathetic reality show
junkies, it was a great show this season, so
good work Kim, NeNe, Sheree, Lisa, DeShawn.
I hate Orange County Housewives. They're five
Kims times ten with bitchy kids and boring,
boring, boring, boring. BRAVO- LOSE THEM!
Atlanta was much better.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A NEW ERA IN EUROPA
Vaclav Klaus is rotating into the role of the chief
of the European Union, an entity that generally
makes me VERRRRRRRRY uncomfortable, as
it literally resembles the exact beast of Beloved
St. John's vision to- a- t e e.
However, BRAVO and hooray for this iconoclast
for being one of the few leaders in the world who
has the testicular substance to call Al Gore a
hypocrite, in the exquisitely crafted term:
"APOSTLE OF ARROGANCE!"
Hahhaha. Apostle indeed. So he is. False Prophet
all the way.
Global warning... eh?
Thank the LORD that this year has seen FREEEEEEZING
weather. That jackass FALSE PROPHET Gore
is so full of hot air.
Gore radiates evil. He oozes bestialiaty and beastly
handshakes.
Why is it then, that all the most Satanic apostles on the
planet, including Charles Manson, Theodore Kazinski,
the Unicorn Ira Einhorn, and dozens of other miscreants
employ this red herring of planetary pollution in an effort
to pursue diabolically evil misanthropic and Antichristian
goals?
Let us not forget who holds the temporary lease to this
magnificent place. No, right now it is not the Lord's.
It belongs to the soon to be chained pathetic loser,
the Lord of the Flies.
Yes friend. He is the master of this domain
for about four more years or so. Maybe longer. I just
hope it's 2012....
Of course he's an asshole for a landlord making the
masses live like sardines, and in most places of the
world, in squalor, while he favors the few soulless
potentates and industrialists, like Al Gore and his
evil brotherhood, with 99% of the world's resources.
That's right. The Apostle of Arrogance is richer
than entire populations of humanity because of
the industrial aspirations of his father, and his
own hypocrisy. These are not statesmen. These
are slavemasters with reptilian blood running
through their veins. They are progeny of the
snake.
It's so conspiratorial that it sometimes makes me
dizzy. I used to read the satirical rants of Robert
Anton Wilson, and try to enlighten those not
aware of the matrix, so to speak, but, what's
the point? One day, the lights went on in my
own head and I realized we cannot fight against
this foe.
Only Michael is appointed to represent us in
battle. We will play our part, but, it is not really
our fight, just like it is not our planet. We pay
dearly for our tiny little right to live in a
cramped space while we are forced to watch
the so-called rich and famous exalt themselves
like no Emperor in any age lived. We are
even expected to worship these morons.
They throw award show after award show
for their pitiful arts and crafts. What's the
point. It's all signed and sealed. It's already
predestined and done. I have a smile because
it's so perfect that it is even more wonderful
to have read the final chapter and know
the spoiler.
It is theirs for now, for a little bit... tiny little
sands of time slipping away from them. oooh,
look at them freeze their age lines by shooting
poisons into their faces, and pulling, stretching,
lifting and augmenting, sucking and deceiving.
No use fellas, you're all going to die, like every
other mortal.
The world will not remain in their hands.
The Lord is returning to establish his
own dynasty. He told us so.
He promised the meek will be the new
landlords, and finally out of the clutches of those
wretched arrogant fiends and masters of the universe,
as Tom Wolfe aptly named them. They will not prevail
much longer.
Capitalism can be a great system, but, as we see, those
like Albert gore, and his bloody legacy and their
associates, have made the world their own, because
they serve the devil, pure and simple. They are
Satanists, and that ain't no slander.
Socialism is actually Christ's plan, but, Marx was
just as diabolical as Hitler. All these men want
slaves when they are the slaves to the demon.
Why does the demon hate mankind? Because we
will usurp his throne. We were given his inheritance,
not only on this Earth, but, beyond, and we will
also judge his angels. We will be given the keys
to Heaven and Hell through the power of the
Alpha and the Omega who is yet to come.
I am so bloody sick of Albert Gore, Satanist, and I
look forward to him being thrown into the pit for
1000 years with his beloved god.
I am awed that there is one leader in this corrupt
world that isn't afraid to speak the truth. Bravo
Mr. Klaus. Unlike Sarkozy and his ilk, you have
redeemed yourself through honesty.
Yes, the world actually is polluted, but, the worse
pollution is that of the soul, and those like Al
Gore and his disciples of rock star icons, who
themselves are idol false gods who are mostly rotten
and polluted through and through.
They have corrupted a generation, and they
will be so rewarded for their treacherous dealings.
They throw themselves around, and try to boss us
little people around, thinking they can indoctrinate the
masses, but, their time is passing.
Get used to the pit boyz. It is darkness that
is beyond blackness. It is coldness beyond
absolute zero. It is burning and bitter.
It is a place where the muzak is gnashing
of teeth and abandonment of hope.
Repent and see Paradise. All human flesh
was bought by the price of Christ's blood.
Anyone who steps on his blood will suffer
damnation. That's the facts.
Wow. I get so worked up. I probably sound
loony tunes, but, honestly, I see this. I am
sick of hypocrites. I know I have my own
flaws and hypocrisy, but, I don't present myself
as a great artist god like the rotten celebrity
culture.
Let them plump up their faces with collagen,
and conform their aging corpses to appear as
if they still are alive, but, they don't fool
me, and soon they will be gone.
There will be a new day dawning where there
will be no pollution, no killing, even of flesh
to eat between animals. Lions will graze the
fields and lie next to the lamb. The underclasses
will be the governors and kings.
Everything will be inside out and get used to it
Mr. Gore, you will go down, down, down.
It gets closer every minute. The Lord is coming
down. Get ready and bow down.
of the European Union, an entity that generally
makes me VERRRRRRRRY uncomfortable, as
it literally resembles the exact beast of Beloved
St. John's vision to- a- t e e.
However, BRAVO and hooray for this iconoclast
for being one of the few leaders in the world who
has the testicular substance to call Al Gore a
hypocrite, in the exquisitely crafted term:
"APOSTLE OF ARROGANCE!"
Hahhaha. Apostle indeed. So he is. False Prophet
all the way.
Global warning... eh?
Thank the LORD that this year has seen FREEEEEEZING
weather. That jackass FALSE PROPHET Gore
is so full of hot air.
Gore radiates evil. He oozes bestialiaty and beastly
handshakes.
Why is it then, that all the most Satanic apostles on the
planet, including Charles Manson, Theodore Kazinski,
the Unicorn Ira Einhorn, and dozens of other miscreants
employ this red herring of planetary pollution in an effort
to pursue diabolically evil misanthropic and Antichristian
goals?
Let us not forget who holds the temporary lease to this
magnificent place. No, right now it is not the Lord's.
It belongs to the soon to be chained pathetic loser,
the Lord of the Flies.
Yes friend. He is the master of this domain
for about four more years or so. Maybe longer. I just
hope it's 2012....
Of course he's an asshole for a landlord making the
masses live like sardines, and in most places of the
world, in squalor, while he favors the few soulless
potentates and industrialists, like Al Gore and his
evil brotherhood, with 99% of the world's resources.
That's right. The Apostle of Arrogance is richer
than entire populations of humanity because of
the industrial aspirations of his father, and his
own hypocrisy. These are not statesmen. These
are slavemasters with reptilian blood running
through their veins. They are progeny of the
snake.
It's so conspiratorial that it sometimes makes me
dizzy. I used to read the satirical rants of Robert
Anton Wilson, and try to enlighten those not
aware of the matrix, so to speak, but, what's
the point? One day, the lights went on in my
own head and I realized we cannot fight against
this foe.
Only Michael is appointed to represent us in
battle. We will play our part, but, it is not really
our fight, just like it is not our planet. We pay
dearly for our tiny little right to live in a
cramped space while we are forced to watch
the so-called rich and famous exalt themselves
like no Emperor in any age lived. We are
even expected to worship these morons.
They throw award show after award show
for their pitiful arts and crafts. What's the
point. It's all signed and sealed. It's already
predestined and done. I have a smile because
it's so perfect that it is even more wonderful
to have read the final chapter and know
the spoiler.
It is theirs for now, for a little bit... tiny little
sands of time slipping away from them. oooh,
look at them freeze their age lines by shooting
poisons into their faces, and pulling, stretching,
lifting and augmenting, sucking and deceiving.
No use fellas, you're all going to die, like every
other mortal.
The world will not remain in their hands.
The Lord is returning to establish his
own dynasty. He told us so.
He promised the meek will be the new
landlords, and finally out of the clutches of those
wretched arrogant fiends and masters of the universe,
as Tom Wolfe aptly named them. They will not prevail
much longer.
Capitalism can be a great system, but, as we see, those
like Albert gore, and his bloody legacy and their
associates, have made the world their own, because
they serve the devil, pure and simple. They are
Satanists, and that ain't no slander.
Socialism is actually Christ's plan, but, Marx was
just as diabolical as Hitler. All these men want
slaves when they are the slaves to the demon.
Why does the demon hate mankind? Because we
will usurp his throne. We were given his inheritance,
not only on this Earth, but, beyond, and we will
also judge his angels. We will be given the keys
to Heaven and Hell through the power of the
Alpha and the Omega who is yet to come.
I am so bloody sick of Albert Gore, Satanist, and I
look forward to him being thrown into the pit for
1000 years with his beloved god.
I am awed that there is one leader in this corrupt
world that isn't afraid to speak the truth. Bravo
Mr. Klaus. Unlike Sarkozy and his ilk, you have
redeemed yourself through honesty.
Yes, the world actually is polluted, but, the worse
pollution is that of the soul, and those like Al
Gore and his disciples of rock star icons, who
themselves are idol false gods who are mostly rotten
and polluted through and through.
They have corrupted a generation, and they
will be so rewarded for their treacherous dealings.
They throw themselves around, and try to boss us
little people around, thinking they can indoctrinate the
masses, but, their time is passing.
Get used to the pit boyz. It is darkness that
is beyond blackness. It is coldness beyond
absolute zero. It is burning and bitter.
It is a place where the muzak is gnashing
of teeth and abandonment of hope.
Repent and see Paradise. All human flesh
was bought by the price of Christ's blood.
Anyone who steps on his blood will suffer
damnation. That's the facts.
Wow. I get so worked up. I probably sound
loony tunes, but, honestly, I see this. I am
sick of hypocrites. I know I have my own
flaws and hypocrisy, but, I don't present myself
as a great artist god like the rotten celebrity
culture.
Let them plump up their faces with collagen,
and conform their aging corpses to appear as
if they still are alive, but, they don't fool
me, and soon they will be gone.
There will be a new day dawning where there
will be no pollution, no killing, even of flesh
to eat between animals. Lions will graze the
fields and lie next to the lamb. The underclasses
will be the governors and kings.
Everything will be inside out and get used to it
Mr. Gore, you will go down, down, down.
It gets closer every minute. The Lord is coming
down. Get ready and bow down.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Joran speaks on Greta. Revisiting Shango's Riddle
VanderSloot appeared on Greta Van Susteren,
and either his sociopathic skills at being
sincere are amazing, or he was partly telling
the truth, but, he "confessed" about selling
Natalee.
This was far from a shock to me. Back in
the summer of 2005, when I was drawn to
this case, a very strange stranger came aboard
a popular website featuring the case, and
started writing in coded prose. His name
was "Shango".
According to Wikipedia:
In Yorùbá mythology, Ṣàngó ( also spelt, Sango or Shango,
often known as Xangô or Changó in Latin America and the
Caribbean, and also known as Jakuta[1]) is perhaps the most
popular Orisha; he is a Sky Father, god of thunder and lightning.
Sango was a royal ancestor of the Yoruba as he was the third king
of the Oyo Kingdom. In the Lukumí (O lukumi = "my friend")
religion of the Caribbean, Shango is considered the center point
of the religion as he represents the Oyo people of West Africa.
__________________________________
To simplify things, because, this gets VERY convolluted,
Shango spoke in riddles about the case, and in a dozen
or so very cleverly crafted poetic missives online, he
vanished. His coded language isn't difficult to decode,
once you inject the Santerian imagery, and the subjects
are blatantly placed. For instance, the Chief of Polis at the
time was a dude named Vanderstratten, and Shango
alludes to him by "Dirtyhands".
What better describes a crooked polis chief than this
term?
Vanderstratten was instrumental in getting some time
and distance for VanderSloot, due to his friendship
and fondness for his dad.
Shango also intimates a vast organized crime hierarchy
in Aruba, which proceeds from the top to the European
residents. The Europeans are so corrupt, they are
given the code name, "Babylonians" and the islanders
are somewhat hapless and helpless to defeat this
great corruption. They are called "Arawaks" for an
indigenous tribe of the Caribbean.
Natalee is "Mary".... "lions" are the rulers. King of
the Arawaks is the Aruban Prime minister....
Here is one of Shango's epic riddles replicated. The
reason I bring it up is that through his brief involvement
in the summer when Natalee went missing, he seemed
to be in the inner circle, or in the know. The things
he wrote about seemed plausible. In VanderSloot's
interview tonight on Greta, he mentions corrupt
cops, and although she bleeped out the names,
no one who followed the case was in the dark....
By the way, KUDOS TO GRETA VAN SUSTEREN!
Do I believe him? Even though he stated that
he lied, after he gave this interview, I think the
look in his eyes betray a truthfulness that has
been absent from other interviews with the guy.
What do I see when I look at Joran? I see
a dead man talking. He's at the end of his
run. They're going to kill him for this stunt.
SHANGO'S RIDDLE
and either his sociopathic skills at being
sincere are amazing, or he was partly telling
the truth, but, he "confessed" about selling
Natalee.
This was far from a shock to me. Back in
the summer of 2005, when I was drawn to
this case, a very strange stranger came aboard
a popular website featuring the case, and
started writing in coded prose. His name
was "Shango".
According to Wikipedia:
In Yorùbá mythology, Ṣàngó ( also spelt, Sango or Shango,
often known as Xangô or Changó in Latin America and the
Caribbean, and also known as Jakuta[1]) is perhaps the most
popular Orisha; he is a Sky Father, god of thunder and lightning.
Sango was a royal ancestor of the Yoruba as he was the third king
of the Oyo Kingdom. In the Lukumí (O lukumi = "my friend")
religion of the Caribbean, Shango is considered the center point
of the religion as he represents the Oyo people of West Africa.
__________________________________
To simplify things, because, this gets VERY convolluted,
Shango spoke in riddles about the case, and in a dozen
or so very cleverly crafted poetic missives online, he
vanished. His coded language isn't difficult to decode,
once you inject the Santerian imagery, and the subjects
are blatantly placed. For instance, the Chief of Polis at the
time was a dude named Vanderstratten, and Shango
alludes to him by "Dirtyhands".
What better describes a crooked polis chief than this
term?
Vanderstratten was instrumental in getting some time
and distance for VanderSloot, due to his friendship
and fondness for his dad.
Shango also intimates a vast organized crime hierarchy
in Aruba, which proceeds from the top to the European
residents. The Europeans are so corrupt, they are
given the code name, "Babylonians" and the islanders
are somewhat hapless and helpless to defeat this
great corruption. They are called "Arawaks" for an
indigenous tribe of the Caribbean.
Natalee is "Mary".... "lions" are the rulers. King of
the Arawaks is the Aruban Prime minister....
Here is one of Shango's epic riddles replicated. The
reason I bring it up is that through his brief involvement
in the summer when Natalee went missing, he seemed
to be in the inner circle, or in the know. The things
he wrote about seemed plausible. In VanderSloot's
interview tonight on Greta, he mentions corrupt
cops, and although she bleeped out the names,
no one who followed the case was in the dark....
By the way, KUDOS TO GRETA VAN SUSTEREN!
Do I believe him? Even though he stated that
he lied, after he gave this interview, I think the
look in his eyes betray a truthfulness that has
been absent from other interviews with the guy.
What do I see when I look at Joran? I see
a dead man talking. He's at the end of his
run. They're going to kill him for this stunt.
SHANGO'S RIDDLE
Shango has not danced with the lions, nor
Arawaks,and does not keep their company
Eyes of god may look from afar with great acuity.
The resolution to find Mary lies with the Arawak Nation
Dirty Hand has bound the Arawak Nation with Babylonian
Rope
The Lamb and the two Shivas whisper in the dark,
while the lions pace silently in the bush.
Dirty Hand is the link!
The lamb, the shivas, the elder whispering, exiting
like theives in the night, clothed with invisible armor
If Dirty Hand falls, so does Babylon, but too, the Arawak
Nation shall suffer.
Threadsurfers listen!
The lamb shall run anew in virgin fields, cropping
sweet grass which should remain untouched.
The Lamb has sins, but the lions have sharper teeth.
A new key must be found to open unknown doors.
The first concern of the Arawak nation is wampum.
But unseen tides pull babylonian seas through Arawak
Moats, bittering the waters.
DirtyHand and the Lions must see the light of Arawak Day,
or forever walk in plentiful fields.
The dead shall eternally sleep if a clamour is not made.
Lamb and the Elder are stepping stones into the fetid pool
of deception.
The rule of the Arawak King is the Final word.
DirtyHand has fouled the air for all nearby, but the
Arawak Nation will claim Babylonian Authority
prevents them from hunting Lions, and DirtyHand.
But the Arawak king controls destiny of all. The
Arawak king has DirtyHands and DirtyFeet. If he
is to reign anew, he cannot be soiled more.
The babylonians have ruled the Arawak Nation through
deception and stealth, and their charges, the Arawaks,
speak now with the same forked tongue, on behalf
of their king.
The gift the cowboys ask of the king of the Arawak
Nation is a mere trifle.
All ye who sing in the cyber-chorus lower your voices not!
It has been proven that the lamb, the shivas, and
the elders are not the breach in Arawak Armour!
Let us hunt Lions, The King, and Dirty Hand.
The lions pace silently in the bush, while the king
seeks pleasures with his concubines.
Threadsurfers! What is sought is not hidden.
The Lamb and the elder are not the keystone in
the Arch of Corruption.
Seek ye DirtyHand and the Fetid Arawak King who
wishes to blame the babylonians for the behaviour
of lowly minions.
If the head of the beast is in plain view it is folly
to attack protected flanks.
Threadsurfers, DirtyHand is more vulnerable than
the Arawak King and your lances should point in his
direction.
He is the weak link, if he tumbles, all fall with him…..
The lamb, the shivas, the elder
Shango looks from afar but speaks with truth. He
does not converse with the Simian, or any other
worldly sources, and attempts to bring direction
to speculation
I must feed the messengers
The gods are talking
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Problem With Cindy Anthony, Caylee's Grandmother
On Tuesday, celebrity bounty hunter, Leonard
Padilla, and supporters organized a memorial
service, which progressed into a prayer vigil
for missing toddler, Caylee Anthony. Caylee
is believed to have been disposed of by her
young and unstable party mom, Casey.
Leonard Padilla, and his nephew, originally
put up the bond to bail Casey out of jail,
believing her story about Caylee being
kidnapped. It was their hunch that if they
could get her to cooperate, which she was
not doing with Law Enforcement, she would
work with them. She didn't. In fact, the
behavior she exhibited flipped them 180,
and they came to believe she was 100%
responsible for Caylee's death and burial.
This case has obviously touched Padilla.
Some have questioned his motives, but,
considering he originally wanted nothing
more to find the child, it isn't a far stretch
that he is emotionally bound to the child
who lies rotting in a hidden location.
Cindy Anthony, the suspect's mother, and
the toddler's grandmother, while fiercely
devoted to the baby, is equally as invested
in protecting her wayward daughter.
It's not hard to associate Cindy's strange
affect and actions, considering how spoiled
Casey was, believing she was entitled to steal,
lie, with difficulty connecting to the
illegality of these acts. Like many parents
these days, Cindy's permissive parenting
has unwittingly unleashed a sociopath.
Even so, I would ordinary feel sorry for this woman
who didn't ask to be thrust into a national
spotlight as the parent of a monster, and I
did at first.
But, I ask you, what kind of grandmother of a
missing child would mind if people prayed
for their loved one?
According to Cindy, no one has the right
to organize a prayer vigil other than the
family. That's right, the family who is refusing
to cooperate with authorities, and who have
entered into a co-conspirator partnership
with the disturbed liar Casey Anthony.
Instead of being grateful for any help from
the public, the Anthonys have been less
than gracious. While there's no playbook
for grieving or being the family of a daughter
accused of murdering their grandchild, certain
gratitude would be the norm, towards prayer and
help, no matter who it came from.
The fact that Cindy resents search teams,
where people are volunteering their days
to trudge through the muck and mud, and
gather to light candles and pray for Caylee's
discovery, indicates that she harbors as
much consciousness of guilt, or more, than
the actual perpetrator.
The problem with Cindy is that her behavior
makes Casey look worse than she is, and
by looking so bad herself, it isn't a stretch
for the public to say, "The apple doesn't
fall far from the tree."
If Cindy were easier to identify with, then
people would find it harder to believe she
could have raised such a monster, who would
have planned to get rid of the child, researching
chloroform recipes, and driving around with
her body in the trunk until it stunk so bad
that it sent alarm bells off in everyone's
heads. But, Cindy is behaving in such a
bizarre and sociopathic way herself, that
one can look at Cindy's actions, and see
a pattern, almost like the mother and
son team of Sante and Kenneth Kimes,
where sociopathy is as genetically strong
as blue eyes in a family.
If Cindy wanted the public to truly sympathize
with her, and by association, with her daughter,
let alone believe any of this family, who all
seem to find it easy to lie, then she should
stop accusing others, stop lying, as easy as it
comes to her, and she should stop carrying on
like a complete jerk.
She needs to pretend, if not feel the urge to be
gracious towards people who give up their time
to help, and not accuse them of breaching the family's
privacy by praying. That's loony tunes. The longer
we get to know Cindy Anthony, the more Casey's
pathology becomes seen as nature and nurture.
Sorry for the harshness, but, I don't get her,
and while I feel sorry for George Anthony,
and feel like he's sandwiched in a nightmare
of a family, himself, he needs to be a man,
too, and tell his crazy wife to shut up.
It's bad enough thinking about a precious
two year old being thrown away by a selfish
party mom, but, it's somehow worse to see this
grandmother defend her lying murderess of a
child, lie to protect a murderess, and attack the
people trying to help.
Padilla, and supporters organized a memorial
service, which progressed into a prayer vigil
for missing toddler, Caylee Anthony. Caylee
is believed to have been disposed of by her
young and unstable party mom, Casey.
Leonard Padilla, and his nephew, originally
put up the bond to bail Casey out of jail,
believing her story about Caylee being
kidnapped. It was their hunch that if they
could get her to cooperate, which she was
not doing with Law Enforcement, she would
work with them. She didn't. In fact, the
behavior she exhibited flipped them 180,
and they came to believe she was 100%
responsible for Caylee's death and burial.
This case has obviously touched Padilla.
Some have questioned his motives, but,
considering he originally wanted nothing
more to find the child, it isn't a far stretch
that he is emotionally bound to the child
who lies rotting in a hidden location.
Cindy Anthony, the suspect's mother, and
the toddler's grandmother, while fiercely
devoted to the baby, is equally as invested
in protecting her wayward daughter.
It's not hard to associate Cindy's strange
affect and actions, considering how spoiled
Casey was, believing she was entitled to steal,
lie, with difficulty connecting to the
illegality of these acts. Like many parents
these days, Cindy's permissive parenting
has unwittingly unleashed a sociopath.
Even so, I would ordinary feel sorry for this woman
who didn't ask to be thrust into a national
spotlight as the parent of a monster, and I
did at first.
But, I ask you, what kind of grandmother of a
missing child would mind if people prayed
for their loved one?
According to Cindy, no one has the right
to organize a prayer vigil other than the
family. That's right, the family who is refusing
to cooperate with authorities, and who have
entered into a co-conspirator partnership
with the disturbed liar Casey Anthony.
Instead of being grateful for any help from
the public, the Anthonys have been less
than gracious. While there's no playbook
for grieving or being the family of a daughter
accused of murdering their grandchild, certain
gratitude would be the norm, towards prayer and
help, no matter who it came from.
The fact that Cindy resents search teams,
where people are volunteering their days
to trudge through the muck and mud, and
gather to light candles and pray for Caylee's
discovery, indicates that she harbors as
much consciousness of guilt, or more, than
the actual perpetrator.
The problem with Cindy is that her behavior
makes Casey look worse than she is, and
by looking so bad herself, it isn't a stretch
for the public to say, "The apple doesn't
fall far from the tree."
If Cindy were easier to identify with, then
people would find it harder to believe she
could have raised such a monster, who would
have planned to get rid of the child, researching
chloroform recipes, and driving around with
her body in the trunk until it stunk so bad
that it sent alarm bells off in everyone's
heads. But, Cindy is behaving in such a
bizarre and sociopathic way herself, that
one can look at Cindy's actions, and see
a pattern, almost like the mother and
son team of Sante and Kenneth Kimes,
where sociopathy is as genetically strong
as blue eyes in a family.
If Cindy wanted the public to truly sympathize
with her, and by association, with her daughter,
let alone believe any of this family, who all
seem to find it easy to lie, then she should
stop accusing others, stop lying, as easy as it
comes to her, and she should stop carrying on
like a complete jerk.
She needs to pretend, if not feel the urge to be
gracious towards people who give up their time
to help, and not accuse them of breaching the family's
privacy by praying. That's loony tunes. The longer
we get to know Cindy Anthony, the more Casey's
pathology becomes seen as nature and nurture.
Sorry for the harshness, but, I don't get her,
and while I feel sorry for George Anthony,
and feel like he's sandwiched in a nightmare
of a family, himself, he needs to be a man,
too, and tell his crazy wife to shut up.
It's bad enough thinking about a precious
two year old being thrown away by a selfish
party mom, but, it's somehow worse to see this
grandmother defend her lying murderess of a
child, lie to protect a murderess, and attack the
people trying to help.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sick of love
It was a long restless night, tossing
and turning, watching movies, and finally
it's morning. I'm feeling better, no fever,
and while still throbbing, no real pain
that I can't manage. Still, I'm anxious
about needing surgery on Friday.
I can't understand John. He hasn't
phoned at all, and sent email, but,
never replied to mine. I guess he
doesn't want to deal with me right
now, but, it puts his position more clear.
He knows I was sick, but, didn't want
to touch base. A lot of guys can't handle
illness, or infirmity, it's not that unusual,
or a sign of indifference, but, it's still
not great.
I hate being back on a roller coaster of
emotional conflict, both being drawn back
into trusting someone enough to love them,
and then feeling abandoned and rejected.
I realize he's got his own issues with feeling
like it was me who didn't stand by him, too,
so, we're probably in a similar boat, apart
on different seas, which is why we're not
together, and yet, we can't seem to go on.
Love produces addictive endorphins that flood
the universe with color and warmth. But, like
any drug, when it wears off, if it's not replaced,
there is a cold grey withdrawl into bleakness.
The highs are great, but, the plummet is like
falling off a cliff.
I hate love for this because life is difficult
enough as it is without the added pain.
Yet, one little word of encouragement would
probably send me back up to take the ride
again. Is it possible to get off the roller
coaster, or is it part of life to deal with
highs and lows, joy and sorrow?
I don't have these answers, but, I'm realistic
enough to know that I have to come to
reality with my fantasy of getting back
together with John when he doesn't want
that. Maybe he's been toying with me?
He loves to tease me, knowing I'm gullible,
but, I never knew him to be cruel.
He may not know what he wants himself,
and blames me for his own highs and lows.
Maybe we're destroying eachother through
hanging on? Maybe we can't even be
friends? It kills me to realize that I don't
know anymore.
A week ago, I was on top of the world,
really believing we were eternal soulmates,
and that nothing could ever tear us apart
again, but, how quickly I came to a
startling revelation about how it's not for
me to choose my soulmate, but, God.
I can't get it through my head, or my ego
can't accept how he left, and he's gone.
He gets lonely and calls me, but, it's on
a whim, maybe after a few drinks, and
he utters words of love and undying devotion
which fires up all my hopes and dreams.
The beautiful words he fills my world with
are like paintings, covering every wall,
before my eyes constantly until I feel
secure that this illusion is not two-dimensional
and just pretty pictures, but, reality.
Then the house burns down along with
the brightly colored masterpieces that
hypnotized me, and it's hard to resolve
that all that's left is ashes, grey as the
grave and cold as dirt.
I'm sick of the rush of love, and the way
love sucks.
and turning, watching movies, and finally
it's morning. I'm feeling better, no fever,
and while still throbbing, no real pain
that I can't manage. Still, I'm anxious
about needing surgery on Friday.
I can't understand John. He hasn't
phoned at all, and sent email, but,
never replied to mine. I guess he
doesn't want to deal with me right
now, but, it puts his position more clear.
He knows I was sick, but, didn't want
to touch base. A lot of guys can't handle
illness, or infirmity, it's not that unusual,
or a sign of indifference, but, it's still
not great.
I hate being back on a roller coaster of
emotional conflict, both being drawn back
into trusting someone enough to love them,
and then feeling abandoned and rejected.
I realize he's got his own issues with feeling
like it was me who didn't stand by him, too,
so, we're probably in a similar boat, apart
on different seas, which is why we're not
together, and yet, we can't seem to go on.
Love produces addictive endorphins that flood
the universe with color and warmth. But, like
any drug, when it wears off, if it's not replaced,
there is a cold grey withdrawl into bleakness.
The highs are great, but, the plummet is like
falling off a cliff.
I hate love for this because life is difficult
enough as it is without the added pain.
Yet, one little word of encouragement would
probably send me back up to take the ride
again. Is it possible to get off the roller
coaster, or is it part of life to deal with
highs and lows, joy and sorrow?
I don't have these answers, but, I'm realistic
enough to know that I have to come to
reality with my fantasy of getting back
together with John when he doesn't want
that. Maybe he's been toying with me?
He loves to tease me, knowing I'm gullible,
but, I never knew him to be cruel.
He may not know what he wants himself,
and blames me for his own highs and lows.
Maybe we're destroying eachother through
hanging on? Maybe we can't even be
friends? It kills me to realize that I don't
know anymore.
A week ago, I was on top of the world,
really believing we were eternal soulmates,
and that nothing could ever tear us apart
again, but, how quickly I came to a
startling revelation about how it's not for
me to choose my soulmate, but, God.
I can't get it through my head, or my ego
can't accept how he left, and he's gone.
He gets lonely and calls me, but, it's on
a whim, maybe after a few drinks, and
he utters words of love and undying devotion
which fires up all my hopes and dreams.
The beautiful words he fills my world with
are like paintings, covering every wall,
before my eyes constantly until I feel
secure that this illusion is not two-dimensional
and just pretty pictures, but, reality.
Then the house burns down along with
the brightly colored masterpieces that
hypnotized me, and it's hard to resolve
that all that's left is ashes, grey as the
grave and cold as dirt.
I'm sick of the rush of love, and the way
love sucks.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Guilty Pleasures- Real Housewives of Atlanta
This show and it's women are the antithesis of
everything possible in my life, yet, maybe that
is why it attracts me. The first few shows were
spent with me judging their fatuous pursuits of
the perfect limited edition designer bags, but,
I've actually gone on to get to bond with the
cast.
My favorite- NeNe because she's real. I don't
care if she's catty. All rich women who spend
more on their nails in a year than I spend on
food in two years are catty. At least NeNe
doesn't pretend to be above it all.
Kim, the white girl who has a sugar daddy
who not only finances her amazing lifestyle,
but, has arranged for her to record with Dallas
Austin, is fascinating. First of all, she's gorgeous
and at 30, even with botox, she looks older
than me without botox.
She is COMPLETELY tone deaf, and Dallas
brings her into the studio never having heard
her before! HAHAHAHAH! It was one of the
funniest moments I've ever seen on reality
TV. His expression, and the recording engineer
fiddling with his earphones to get that sound
as far from his brain as possible, still don't
deter Kim who plans to be a superstar and
is dressed like madonna, even with the
identicle white top hat Madonna is wearing
this season on tour!
She is sent to a top vocal coach who tells
her she doesn't know what she's doing.
Kim thinks she's just bitchy and snuffs,
"I don't have to know anything about
music... I'm a singer!"
You cannot script this!
Yet, she is endearing, in a way that is
unexpected.
She and NeNe are mortal enemies after
NeNe mocks her in song to her other
crew during a night out.
Lisa is married to an NFL millionaire
and she is a jewelry designer.. grrrrrrr...
competition for me, and she has the
money to go for the real high end.
It's always nice to start out with money
when you're an artist. She is drop dead
gorgeous, though. She's a pretty decent
person, and the flattest chested amongst
the other DD women, so, I definitely
like her 2nd best to NeNe.
Sharee is the black Kim, according to Kim,
but, she is really classy, and Kim is white
trash with a rich boyfriend writing checks
at astonishing amounts to support her.
She calls this mystery man, "Big Poppa",
and according to her, he's a celebrity
and knows everyone. There is talk that
he's Quincy Jones, and I can see that
possibility.
Tonight, we learn who NeNe's biological
father really is. I can't wait. I guess the
reason I like NeNe the best is that she
came from humble origins, as the others
probably did, and still has maintained that
person. She is married to a very respectable
and likeable older man, who is long suffering
and sometimes amazingly calm about her
lack of sophistication and education.
When she's helping her son do homework,
he has to help her by explaining that 1/3
is less than 1/2, even drawing a pizza pie
and dividing it. She has more trouble
getting this concept than her young son,
and she finally sighs and says, "Can't
we have a tutor?..."
Sheree, (Kim's idea of the "black Kim")
is definitely the most aristocratic
and upper class member. She reveals
her new fashion line tonight, and it
seems like it will be a disaster, judging
from previews. I like Sheree, too, and
believe she's definitely the sharpest and
coolest, possibly the least catty, even
though she and NeNe are mortal enemies
due to an oversight where Kim was not
on a guest list at her birthday bash.
Sheree is nothing like Kim, though, and
their tolerance for one and another probably
won't be as solid by next year's season, if
there is one. She is single, but, not kept
by a man, like Kim. But, she is gracious
enough to let Kim think they are sisters
from different misters. She lets Kim compare
her aspiration as a "country singer" to Sheree's
entrepreneureal fashion line.
Anyway, it's a chick thing, liking these shows.
I never cared for the Orange County housewives.
They were useless slugs who made me ashamed
of being a female American. Yuck. What gross
women.
There is more gentility to the Atlanta chicks,
and maybe because only Kim is caucasian, the
black socialites are far more complex and
interesting as people.
Ooooh, good. Show is on.
everything possible in my life, yet, maybe that
is why it attracts me. The first few shows were
spent with me judging their fatuous pursuits of
the perfect limited edition designer bags, but,
I've actually gone on to get to bond with the
cast.
My favorite- NeNe because she's real. I don't
care if she's catty. All rich women who spend
more on their nails in a year than I spend on
food in two years are catty. At least NeNe
doesn't pretend to be above it all.
Kim, the white girl who has a sugar daddy
who not only finances her amazing lifestyle,
but, has arranged for her to record with Dallas
Austin, is fascinating. First of all, she's gorgeous
and at 30, even with botox, she looks older
than me without botox.
She is COMPLETELY tone deaf, and Dallas
brings her into the studio never having heard
her before! HAHAHAHAH! It was one of the
funniest moments I've ever seen on reality
TV. His expression, and the recording engineer
fiddling with his earphones to get that sound
as far from his brain as possible, still don't
deter Kim who plans to be a superstar and
is dressed like madonna, even with the
identicle white top hat Madonna is wearing
this season on tour!
She is sent to a top vocal coach who tells
her she doesn't know what she's doing.
Kim thinks she's just bitchy and snuffs,
"I don't have to know anything about
music... I'm a singer!"
You cannot script this!
Yet, she is endearing, in a way that is
unexpected.
She and NeNe are mortal enemies after
NeNe mocks her in song to her other
crew during a night out.
Lisa is married to an NFL millionaire
and she is a jewelry designer.. grrrrrrr...
competition for me, and she has the
money to go for the real high end.
It's always nice to start out with money
when you're an artist. She is drop dead
gorgeous, though. She's a pretty decent
person, and the flattest chested amongst
the other DD women, so, I definitely
like her 2nd best to NeNe.
Sharee is the black Kim, according to Kim,
but, she is really classy, and Kim is white
trash with a rich boyfriend writing checks
at astonishing amounts to support her.
She calls this mystery man, "Big Poppa",
and according to her, he's a celebrity
and knows everyone. There is talk that
he's Quincy Jones, and I can see that
possibility.
Tonight, we learn who NeNe's biological
father really is. I can't wait. I guess the
reason I like NeNe the best is that she
came from humble origins, as the others
probably did, and still has maintained that
person. She is married to a very respectable
and likeable older man, who is long suffering
and sometimes amazingly calm about her
lack of sophistication and education.
When she's helping her son do homework,
he has to help her by explaining that 1/3
is less than 1/2, even drawing a pizza pie
and dividing it. She has more trouble
getting this concept than her young son,
and she finally sighs and says, "Can't
we have a tutor?..."
Sheree, (Kim's idea of the "black Kim")
is definitely the most aristocratic
and upper class member. She reveals
her new fashion line tonight, and it
seems like it will be a disaster, judging
from previews. I like Sheree, too, and
believe she's definitely the sharpest and
coolest, possibly the least catty, even
though she and NeNe are mortal enemies
due to an oversight where Kim was not
on a guest list at her birthday bash.
Sheree is nothing like Kim, though, and
their tolerance for one and another probably
won't be as solid by next year's season, if
there is one. She is single, but, not kept
by a man, like Kim. But, she is gracious
enough to let Kim think they are sisters
from different misters. She lets Kim compare
her aspiration as a "country singer" to Sheree's
entrepreneureal fashion line.
Anyway, it's a chick thing, liking these shows.
I never cared for the Orange County housewives.
They were useless slugs who made me ashamed
of being a female American. Yuck. What gross
women.
There is more gentility to the Atlanta chicks,
and maybe because only Kim is caucasian, the
black socialites are far more complex and
interesting as people.
Ooooh, good. Show is on.
My Eternal heart
John hasn't called for days, but, he sent me
two poems, and just seeing his email there,
waiting for me to read, made my heart flutter,
as the saying goes. It reminds me of ten
years ago, when we first came into eachother's
orbit through posting on usenet groups
and then private emails.
His first emails were so mysterious,
all cryptic and poetic.... I remember those
heavenly moments of basking in the
strangeness and tenderness of this
stranger who I loved before I knew
anything about him!
I didn't even know his name. He called
himself "Jimmy Dean!"
I can never ever stop loving John, and when
he describes his scarred heart in his poem,
it resonates. His name is tattoed
on mine. How can I convince myself
that this is life without him? It's a
cruel torture.
Everything he describes could be spoken
of by my heart.
I am scarred and my
heart is scared of getting hard.
And I love him, and I'll love him until
I die.
I exist but it's not a whole life.
John's Scarred Heart:
stabbed heart bleeds bad
cut to the
bone
Love song in question
all my own
brings crys from a tattered
shattered heart
too often cut and never healing
Keeps a body reeling
my
scarred heart.
lover she swears a promise - Takes an oath
Plays a game won't say
no
Maybe she should just cut it out
Paste it in a scrape
book
Tape it to the back of
stab me in the back love
two poems, and just seeing his email there,
waiting for me to read, made my heart flutter,
as the saying goes. It reminds me of ten
years ago, when we first came into eachother's
orbit through posting on usenet groups
and then private emails.
His first emails were so mysterious,
all cryptic and poetic.... I remember those
heavenly moments of basking in the
strangeness and tenderness of this
stranger who I loved before I knew
anything about him!
I didn't even know his name. He called
himself "Jimmy Dean!"
I can never ever stop loving John, and when
he describes his scarred heart in his poem,
it resonates. His name is tattoed
on mine. How can I convince myself
that this is life without him? It's a
cruel torture.
Everything he describes could be spoken
of by my heart.
I am scarred and my
heart is scared of getting hard.
And I love him, and I'll love him until
I die.
I exist but it's not a whole life.
John's Scarred Heart:
My Scarred Heart
stabbed heart bleeds bad
cut to the
bone
Love song in question
all my own
brings crys from a tattered
shattered heart
too often cut and never healing
Keeps a body reeling
my
scarred heart.
and these eyes forget to lie to that old heart
and my ears taste
nothing of that merciless part
It hears those pains screaming through and
through
Listens to sweet love songs
denies that there's a problem
ears
won't hear the pain of
my scarred heart
and my ears taste
nothing of that merciless part
It hears those pains screaming through and
through
Listens to sweet love songs
denies that there's a problem
ears
won't hear the pain of
my scarred heart
lover she swears a promise - Takes an oath
Plays a game won't say
no
Maybe she should just cut it out
Paste it in a scrape
book
Tape it to the back of
stab me in the back love
in my scarred heart
and my scarred heart
makes me excuses
My Scarred heart
deals in
trucess
it's all losses no successes
waves white flags bleeds the red
ink
I wish my brain could pull a trigger
Shoot me down but
it figures
it marches to it's own nerdy beat
plays in it's own
sheets
My scarred heart
makes me excuses
My Scarred heart
deals in
trucess
it's all losses no successes
waves white flags bleeds the red
ink
I wish my brain could pull a trigger
Shoot me down but
it figures
it marches to it's own nerdy beat
plays in it's own
sheets
My scarred heart
and my scarred heart
heals with indifference
Fight but it all in
defeat
wants to demonstrate all in kind
calls out a draft for the war
to subside
those lonely heartedwarriors others off the shore
I threw
in the towell all damn day
a lonely battle she got the same
with my
scarred Heart
heals with indifference
Fight but it all in
defeat
wants to demonstrate all in kind
calls out a draft for the war
to subside
those lonely heartedwarriors others off the shore
I threw
in the towell all damn day
a lonely battle she got the same
with my
scarred Heart
Sad news
Update on my health: IMPROVED!
The swelling on my neck is down 50%
and the pain is a manageable. Fever
is finally broken. It was normal by
tonight. I thank the Lord, and am
equally grateful for the very latest
generation of antibiotics.
But, to put things in perspective,
while my health seemed to be so
pitiful, I learned tonight that my
beautiful younger cousin is stricken
with Stage IV metastatic cancer
and her prospects for living to 2010
are 2%. I was crushed. This girl
is a real sweetheart, with the
type of endearing smile, and
bubbly personality that makes
you instantly love her.
I remember when she was born,
and how much fun I had with her
and her brothers during my teenage
years. We'd sneak away during
the Jewish holiday meals at her
grandmother's house, and smoke
pot. Even after not seeing her for
ten years, after moving to Austin,
then Illinois, then Florida, when
I saw her again two years ago,
it was still like we were as close
as ever. But, everyone feels close
to her.
This lovely and gentle girl has a
heart of gold, and two gorgeous
daughters who she adores. It's
incomprehensible to think of her
being so sick, and impossible to
anticipate her death.
The worst thing is that being a
Christian in a Jewish family, I am
stricken with unbelievable sorrow
when one of my own dies, not
knowing about their salvation,
and if there is a special dispensation
for Jews... I know that it is hypocritical
of me to bend the rules, or go beyond
the fundamental beliefs I hold, but,
I can't help it. The thought of my
loved ones being lost to me forever
if they don't have Christ is horrible.
My brother has even mocked me
knowing this is an Achilles heel
of mine. He'll say things like, "Too
bad that based on your beliefs, our
whole family will spend eternity
in Hell..." meaning my mom, my
grandparents, etc.
The only snarky recourse I have
had at my disposal is to rub in
the fact that my dad has confessed
to Christ, and has even told him
that the only Jewish religion that
makes sense to him is Messianic
Judaism and Christ. That wounds
him in the same way his cruel
barbs stick in my heart.
It's still possible for my dear beautiful
and sweet cousin to let Christ into
her heart, and that's all I can pray,
and of course, pray for remission.
But, it sure makes me understand how
blessed I am to have a medical condition
which can be treated, and even if not,
is not terminal. I feel ashamed of
feeling sorry for myself for days.
So, I'm very blue, and feel helpless.
Even though I haven't been close to
this lovely lady in years, the bonds
we forged from our childhoods to
early adulthood is still strong enough
to affect me deeply.
In a way, I wish it was possible to offer
myself instead of her, since she has
these children who need her, but, it
doesn't work like that. We all have our
time to die that is appointed by God.
Plus, even though it looks grim, there
are those who defy all medical odds
and have remission. I can't lose my
ability to believe in miracles.
Father, in Jesus' Name, have mercy
on C. for the sake of her children
and parents. She has too much to
live for to be cut off before she has
seen her kids grown and happy.
I pray for a medical miracle, and
a treatment that will allow her to
go into remission.
I pray that she has the strength to
endure the horrible symptoms and
sickness. Please give her days respite
from deathly nausea and pain. Let
her enjoy her children as long as
possible, and if it is your will, let
her live for another 20 years or more.
Father, you are our only hope and
sanctuary when we have such a
serious disease as this. She has
been disrespectful of Messianic
Judaism and Jesus Christ, but, please
forgive her ignorance and provide
her with light.
Enable her to see our Lord, Jesus Christ,
who is always before our faces with
his arms outstretched to receive us.
We don't have faith unless you turn
on the lights. Please give her the
vision and understanding, as well
as desire to embrace our Lord during
this tragedy.
None of us know our time left on
Earth. We take it for granted when
we're young, that we don't need to
plan for this event until old age.
It's difficult to embrace Jesus Christ
as an adult, when you've been raised
in a culture that's completely
contrary to receiving him.
I've seen it before, though, how when
faced with terminal illnesses, even
atheists are drawn to you, and have
the need to finally reach out and
you take them into your bosom.
Please let this be the case for C.,
and if she has to die, let her die
with the mark of the blood of Christ
upon her soul's doorpost.
In Jesus' Name, I pray.
[[To the chief Musician upon Gittith, A Psalm of David.]] O LORD our Lord, how excellent [is] thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens. | |
Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger. | |
| When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; | |
| What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? | |
| For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. | |
| Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all [things] under his feet: | |
| All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field; | |
| The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, [and whatsoever] passeth through the paths of the seas. | |
| O LORD our Lord, how excellent [is] thy name in all the earth! |
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The Third World and The Devil
As if the perpetual war and genocide
in the Congo were not enough, cholera
and an escalation in civilian executions
by corrupt government soldiers have
escalated the intense suffering.
When I needed to conjure the worst
conditions of hell of Earth imaginable,
I used to easily draw up images from
the Nazi Holocaust of 12 million
Jews, Christians, Gypsies, gay people
and other political adversaries.
But, the conditions in parts of Africa,
particularly the interminably hopeless
Congo, are beginning to match any
horror story derived from 60 years ago.
I know that seems inconceivable, but,
so is the reality of what is happening
to the tragic and helpless people
caught in the struggle to survive there.
This week, in addition to reports of
increasingly more irrational behavior
by the government forces of randomly
executing civilians, there have been
outbreaks of cholera. Aid workers and
efforts are miserably inadequate, and
put them in harm's way.
It has become well published about the
hundreds of thousands of women who
have been raped, mutilated and tortured,
in addition to unknown numbers who have
been slaughtered. Diseases like AIDS have
been beyond pandemic due to the high
incident of rape based on a bizarre culture
that gives all soldiers, whether rebel,
mercenary, government, or UN troops,
the free reign to take women as slaves,
or gang rape villages of women, as a
form of warfare. It is even a form of
their ethnic religion which is understood
to require rape as an appeasement to
the forces of war, as a sign of masculinity
and virility.
If this isn't clearly seen as the manifestation
of demonic activity, then, people trying to
comprehend this savagery are blind, deaf,
and hopeless.
There is no rational reason to have a war
against women, yet, that seems to be the
focus of theirs. Meanwhile, women from
childhood to old age are living in terror,
all vulnerable to not only sexual battery,
but, genital mutilation which leaves them
crippled and humiliated, sometimes driven
from their families who see this as a curse.
A generation of children have been born out
of rape. Even the natural progeny between
couples are now on the move, being shifted
from one refugee camp to the next, and
nowhere is secure. They are living with
every bit the terror experienced by the
primary targets of victimization by the
Nazis.
Starvation, disease, hopelessness and
no end in sight makes their plight all the
more horrifying.
This isn't one race against another, or one
country against another. This is the process
of interminable civil war that seems to be
infecting many countries in Africa, where
each nation conducts their own form of
persecution towards their own people.
It's genocide on an escalating scale.
No amount of foreign aid, or charity dollars
is sufficient to even provide a band aid, let
alone true respite or solution. There is
no negotiating with savages who heed
demons that tell them to rape and kill,
cannibalize and terrorize children.
Children are brutally killed in front of
women who are then told to cook and
eat them. Women have had parts of
their flesh hacked off, and were forced
to cook and eat the meat. Pregnant
women are subjected to having their
children forced to stomp on their mother's
bellies until she aborts, and then she
is made to drink the blood.
Tender toddlers are boiled in oil and
fed to other children. Children of all
ages are raped, because there is a
perverse belief that by raping virgins,
AIDS is cured. Meanwhile, the presence
of AIDS has grown so rapidly, that it
is impossible to know the actual
scope. They estimate 1/3 of all
people left, but, it could be as high
as 2/3, including the children, since
they are born from rape, or raped
themselves.
The inhumanity of it boggles the mind.
It is happening on such a large scale that
it is unwise for us to not notice or pretend
that it is too far away for it to portend
any meaning for our futures, safe in
air-conditioning and environments with
too much food and people needing
medical binding of the stomachs to
prevent them from eating themselves
to death.
The disparity between the two worlds
is shattering. I was sick for a week in
pain and suffering, but, I was still in
a comfortable and safe environment
with the distractions of a computer,
TV, movies, books, climate control,
nutritional food, refreshing soda
juices, and ultimately aggressive
antibiotics and strong pain relief.
My physical condition is poor, but,
nothing compared to the average
soul tonight lying in filth in makeshift
huts, with cholera sweeping through
their huddled communities of terrified
refugees. I guarantee that as sick as
I was, that it was nothing compared
to cholera.
Yet, even when we want to help them
with aid and medicine through Doctors
Without Borders, these efforts are limited
and only reach the smallest segment of
people who are mobile enough to even
get to the help available.
Most of any significant foreign aid in
cash and supplies is first intercepted
by corrupt UN and government agencies
who utilize most of it to enlarge their
resources. This endless war in Africa,
starting long ago, has been ironically
fueled by our charity, and the reality
that chaos in Africa enables mercenaries
to exploit the natural resources which
are abundant.
If ever people were starry eyed enough
to believe the world can soon join hands
and sing KUMBAYA, Obama leading us
into a new day, they need to take a
sobering look at the escalation of
hopelessness in the Third World,
which is GROWING, not shrinking.
People mean well with their charity,
and if I were in a position to exhort
donations or activism, I would feel
compelled to do *something* because
anything seems like it's worth trying
to reach just a few.
The problem is, starting with the great
charity drives of the 20th Century, that
the leadership in these places are all
corrupt, and industry is secretly the
master of the growing misery. Keeping
the Third World, especially Africa,
unstable and the people oppressed,
ensures that Western capitalists
can continue to exploit the land, and
exploit the potential for human slaves.
There are some who are so muddled about
the reality of the world, that they believe
we can achieve a "one-world" unity and
utopia. They fail to recognize that never
has the devil been more visible than
in our era as the force behind virtually
all leaders in the Third World, and
increasingly the force unifying them
with the more compliant Western
leaders of Europe, and sadly, the
United States.
Europe is a Third World continent now.
It is still a swell place to live if you
come from privilege, but, it is a
sea of haves and have-nots. This
socialism of a continent has not
improved the lot of the working backbone
of the great countries who had hundreds of
years of human of history of strengths,
victories and independence in the
struggle for freedom and liberty.
Instead, the lowest common denominator
becomes the fate of the the working
man, meaning that in places like
Great Britain, working people are literally
more disadvantaged than illegal aliens
and layabouts who receive abundant
housing, free medicine, benefits and
rewards for procreating.
This is planned chaos, establishing the
fertile ground for the New World Order,
which is the prophesied world slavery
cult of the beast. Out of chaos come the
change that allows the demons to
manipulate unwitting populations of
virtual slaves. Rebel and die. Or worse.
In the Congo right now, death seems
more desirable than the progressive
cruelty being inflicted on people being
used as sex slaves and assistants to
genocide.
I'm not trying to depress anyone, or
myself, but, if there are those who are
deceive into believing the Lord is far from
approaching, then, it's time to wake up.
Never has the world been this unstable
or within reach of nuclear annihilation.
People don't want to hear that, and
they choose to console themselves
remembering that throughout history
people chanted how it was the end
of times.
What I'm saying is that it's worse than
we imagine, sheltered in our climate
controlled rooms and with full bellies.
It goes beyond war, and into the
realm of evil where it's not just enough
to stake a claim on a region and then
fight for it. The mission of this war
is to create as much suffering as
possible, to break the spirit, and
to revel in the depths of evil to
reveal the master of these plans,
the devil.
The devil took Jesus up to the mountain
and offered him kingdoms if he would
only concede honor to him, for he is
the hidden ruler of this world. He has
taken it by subtlety and yet by force.
He can come in as a lamb, like leaders
in Africa, such as Idi Amin, who promised
their citizens progress and equality, but,
in fact, were following Satan's command.
Let the naysayers scoff at this all they
want. It will be in most of our lifetimes
when things will affect us, as well, whether
from the inevitable nuclear event that
changes the way life is lived on Earth,
or the total takeover of a world leader,
who promises to unite, but, is the
predecessor of Hitler, Idi Amin, and
every terrible tyrant that has ruled
men through the demonic principality
indwelling their flesh.
It's scary stuff when you have your
spirit goggles on, and the smoke
clears enough to analyze how hopeless
it is without Jesus Christ.
Man is unable to resist the power of
the devil without the supernatural force
of God intervening. Without God, there
is no hope for any of us, let alone
those suffering in Africa.
One reason for much of the suffering in
the Congo specifically is that there are
still a large number of Christians. This
is the only covering that they have, yet,
there are haters in the West that despise
the missionaries and how they've "corrupted"
the natural indigenous religion of demonic
beings. The religions may dictate raping
children and eating the flesh of their
perceived enemies, passing their own
children through the fire to appease
the devils they call gods, but, some
pea-brained liberals find that preferable
to thinking about Africans praising
Jesus Christ, the King of the Universe
and having victory.
I know that spiritual blindness is nothing
I can reason against. The lights are turned
on by God, and it's only by his great mercy
that we are given the ability to know the
immeasurable mercy of God in Jesus Christ
and the power of the blood of Christ against
our enemies.
But, I have a continuous spiritual burden
for all the brothers and sisters in Africas
who call out for God's intervention. Because
we all share the unity of God's Holy Spirit,
their increasing pleas are sounding an
alarm in all of our minds. I feel powerless,
because I am.
In the case of the Congo and the violence
occurring throughout Africa, the Middle East
and now in the New Third Word of Europe,
I can only pray for mercy and for God to
impart the light to raise up their own
missionaries to spread the Word of God
so they can be saved. If this is the
vision of the Tribulation starting, then
let them have the faith and honor to
defeat the devils who are championing
Satan in his pathetic last surge.
Father, In Jesus' Name, I ask that you
strengthen the bonds of faith in all of
your children in Africa and the world
tonight. Unify us with those bonds, not
IN the world, but IN CHRIST, in anticipation
of his HOLY day.
I ask that you enable those who are
inflicting this terror to also see the light,
by the exploits of those with the gifts
of the Holy Spirit. Many of these soldiers
are mere children, taken at birth and given
no other spiritual option than to follow
the devil. Free them and provide them
with the armor of the redeemed.
I pray for countless miracles to reach
scores of those who are in such dire
need, but, that Westerners are not
tricked into carelessly fueling the enemies
by sending them supplies and money to
enable them to extend their campaign
to turn this world into a slave camp.
In Jesus' Name I pray.
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