Friday, September 14, 2007


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Transformation is the theme this
Sabbath. I see it in the flickering
light how even with a withering
spine, one day, I will be able to
fly. Thanks Lord for such a wonderful
hope this New Years Sabbath night.

I have so much to thank the LORD for this
week. The candle flame has never been
brighter. This is the New Year, and it was
like a stream of prayer requests being answered,
and I believe I have been blessed.

We're not only blessed by bountiful mercies
of material things, but, in being chastised,
we actually are more prone to growth. I've
never been broken beyond our ability
to withstand the pain, and I feel I'm being
rewarded with seven-fold blessings this week.
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Without the pain, would I cling to the LORD
as a life-raft? Without mourning for others
and intercession for strangers who touch
my heart, could I grow towards the light
of God? It's through sorrow, not drunken
laughter that wisdom is nurtured as a
tender plant. Beauty fades, youth goes
away, but, the soul and spirit is eternal.
It is this growth towards God that keeps
me striving for perfection.

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I actually forgot it was the Sabbath this sunset.
The world began in darkness, not light.
Even though I have been abundantly blessed
this week, I was in poor physical shape today.
I believe I'll be cured. I have a great advocate in
heaven, but, one on Earth has pulled some
strings, and hopefully I can get some medical
care.If I can get surgery, I may actually be
restored to a pretty decent baseline.

I appreciate my Christian friends
telling me that my faith can overcome pain,
but, I have the feeling that they have no
intimate knowledge of the kind of pain
a spine injury can cause, especially when
it's untreated, and progressively deteriorates.

I know God can mend me, but, it is not
for me to claim. I remember in my baby
Christian walk, and all the pentecostal
and charismatic meetings I found so
intoxicating. There would be a mesmerizing
and charismatic pastor who would seem
to possess the firey life-force of the Holy
Spirit, and shout to "CLAIM this miracle."

My b/f of my youth became associated
with Benny Hinn, the guy who was the
inspiration for that hilarious Steve Martin
movie. He used to blow on people, and
they'd succumb and faint, then rise up
and proclaim the miracle. Hallelujah.
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My dad and I loved Kathy Griffith, and we can
not understand why she would deliberately
disrespect Jesus Christ like she did, accepting
the EMMY, calling it her new "God" in jest.
She certainly doesn't have to believe in Him,
or acknowledge my interpretation of Him, or
in my life's experiences, believing God is in
my daily life, but, why offend those who love
God, and have faith?
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What would possess her to diss God completely?
He's not going to strike her dead. Au contraire.
She's guaranteed to live until she's full of days,
because now it's a matter of challenging her
disbelief. What would open her eyes to Him?
How can the scales be taken away?
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I cannot watch her again, not that she would
care. Who does she go to when people
go away, when her parents die, when her
friends all seem like empty sycophants,
and when she finds her first lump on a
breast, or under her armpit?
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It's easy to dismiss God when you're healthy,
and successful, when youth and exhilaration
are not hard to find. It's easy to believe you're
the center of the universe when you're famous,
and in a way, you really are.
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We are promised all the wealth of the
world, and eternal life. Eternal youth is
a drink of water away.
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Those are the kind of things that
fall into the scary category of
abominable blasphemies that
are hopeless. I felt my blood run
cold when I saw on the news what
Kathy did.

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Christ's love is more important to
me than anything in this world.
It's not that I don't cherish my life,
or have totally given up, but, I live
for Christ's love. I am in love, and
this brings me peace and happiness.

Even though I am sick physically,
I still rejoice. I can't walk very far,
or do the things I used to enjoy, but,
I don't miss anything, because Christ
is a great replacement for things that
I no longer have.
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I have food, shelter, a nice car, a nice
condo, and now the LORD has blessed
me with enough money to live for the
rest of my days. I can get my surgeries,
and maybe even get strong again.
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My work had become my idol. I was
a slave to it. My libido and lust for
men has been subdued by the indignity
of being less than I was.

I may edit this later, but, I'm trying to
keep my blogging journal-like, free-flowing
and not bound to the same rules as my
other writing.

For my Sabbath prayer, I have obviously
been in praise and exaltation. While
the LORD has commanded to keep our
words few, I can't help being effusive
and generous with my praise.

Nothing can separate us from God's love
except ourselves and our worldly burdens.
In so many ways, I've been separated from
my material life which has benefited my
soul. It's not a burden to sacrifice all for
Jesus Christ, the reason for the season.

Christ was born in Bethlehem. (In
September, the equinox, not the winter
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Father, in the Name of YaHashua HaMaschiach,
may all those who praise your Name be so
blessed. May those who don't know your
Name learn from you, and have mercy on
the blind, deaf, and dumb in the land of
the rebellious. As the days grow more
ominous, may we all seek your face more

Please show us mercy and keep America
safe. Confound our enemies. I pray that
you give George Bush some direction
to end this war. I pray that you protect
and raise up Hillary for President, and
that she gets the nomination.
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I pray for the souls of those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness. May you be
found of all who seek the LORD's kindness.
I ask for mercy for those seeking justice,
like Lana Clarkson's mom and sister.
May you provide clear light to the jurors,
and if one of them has been intercepted
and tampered with, I pray that this fact
will become known, and they all go
to prison. You can bestow justice above
the flawed culture of men.

I pray for Erets YisraeI, and ask that
you pour your spirit of supplication
upon all those wailing and remove
the obstacle of their hating our LORD
and Messiah, Y'shua, you are all there
is, and who our ancestors praised.
Please bless all the seed of Abraham,
both in Isaac and in Ishmael. Let
us find peace with our brothers,
through your intercession. Bless
all faiths with this one revelation
of who you are.

Please show your strength to our enemies.
Let their disbelief fade away, until they
are our brothers, and we love one another.
Please intercede in Russia, because something
terrible is going on... You know what I mean,
and it is scary without knowing that you have
preeminence in everything .

If this is the beginning of it, please
strengthen us, and let none of us
be frightened of anything. Give us
wings of eagles and hearts of lions.
We are your secret weapon, and please
use us! We long to show your glory to
those in the land of the living, about
to suffer in the throes of transformation.
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Your promises are true, and you
have shown us that. Oh Lord,
let all who profess your Name really
possess your grace and love, even
towards those who seem godless
to us.

We never know who will be transformed.

In Maschiach's Name, Hashem, I pray.

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