The mystery of faith

I abandoned blogging the SOS study because it was
too hard to adequately capture the layers of mysticism.
I'm not skillful or able to competently express the
full range of etiological nuances of language, and the
utter majesty of the transparent layers of meaning
which overlap and create a 4 dimensional matrix of
prophecy.

I can see why Solomon is used in the counterfeit
mystery religion and why his temple became the
template of the deceitful. As the son of David, he
was the promised one in the flesh, but not of the
eternal promise. Christ fulfilled that role. In our
natural state, what we refer to as carnal nature, we
can only face the attraction to those things which
are familiar to us of this world, here and now, and
based on what was familiar to our ancestors which
became the building blocks of our cultural society.

What do we do when we long to break away from
this world's standards, morals, and limited range
of perception to embrace the 4th dimensional
mysticism of the Bible and its original mystical
language? It's all there, embedded in the first
words of faith, yet intellectual development doesn't
transport us to that place, only faith and God's
grace can transform our minds into the seedlings
of the beings we are promised to be in His presence.

I long for him with every fiber of my being, never
more than when I am blessed with the strange
romantic phenomenon of hearing his music through
the words of the apostate king and blessed son of
David, Solomon. How could he have been both so
blessed of God and so accursed and weak? He was
the wisest man of all, yet the most foolish and
fatuous failure of any. In the flesh, we cannot and
do not please our God for he is a spirit which
encompasses everything. He is the theory and
truth of everything. He is. And we are the work
of his hands, not the other way around. Solomon
built his temple, and the temple of his adversary
on Earth. Solomon saw Christ's face yet relied on the
unseen faces of inferior spiritual beings to guide
him. Why? Because he was human first, and we
are all grievously handicapped and subjected to
error through our limited 2 dimensional spiritual
boundaries, beyond the gates of our natural
understanding. Like the mighty cherubim who
guard the way to Eden with flaming swords of
fire, we are forbidden from trespassing unless
we are bidden and obey the commandments.
Even then, it is by his invitation, not our own
misadventures. However, he said, "Seek and
ye shall find... ask and it shall be given."
When we truly desire knowledge and understanding,
like Solomon once did, we will be led through
these gates. We just need to remember that
through our own baby blues, we are still
blind, and not rely on our own interpretations
if we can help it. All of us can be cults or fall
into those pits. If Solomon did, what warning
does that impart to us of far less noble origin?

It is only through God's extraordinary grace which
allows any of us to escape our fate of doom and
destruction. When the bombs fall, and the suffering
begins, only then will those who deny God's power
acknowledge him, not to praise him in fear and awe,
but, to curse and blame him for our suffering. The
most challenging obstacle to faith is the loss of a
child and loved ones. Those with faith will cling to
God's kingdom, and understand, but, those who
only cherish this realm will understandably despise
the one who dares to claim control of what is his.

It's exactly like we've been squatting for thousands
of years, without consequence for destroying the land
and air, slaughtering the creatures, and finally for
destroying our own kind in genocide, slavery, sexual
subordination and greed. When the land owner
returns and rages, how dare he punish us... that's
what is coming and how people on Earth will receive
his city which is coming down from heaven, and which
will be seen from the Earth.

We're so indoctrinated by War of the Worlds, and science
fiction, that people will be easy to convince that the
intruder is the enemy. God is already the enemy to
more people than he is a refuge and savior.

We're so utterly lost, all of us, and in some ways,
Christians and Jews are the most lost because we
convince eachother that we are safe and secure
without heeding to his only mandatory commands.
We don't have to sprinkle the blood of rams, lambs
and red heifers upon the four horns of the altar before
the mercy seat of God because Christ himself was
offered up for our sins and his blood is our cleansing
ablution. Yet, when we are asked to put away things
of idolatry, we choose some things and reject the
biggest obstacles in our path like honoring Christ
on the sun-god's special solstice day. Christmas is
egregiously vain and antichristian in ceremonial
custom and spirit. It is forbidden, utterly anathema
to combine anything pagan with Christ's holy
legacy, yet we have invented sin to present as a
stumblingblock for each generation, passing it
on to our children as babes, calling it good.

That's why Song of Solomon transcends translation
for me, the same way understanding that changing
the days of the worship of YHWH and holy
convocation days are wrong. Some secret language
within the original plain words conveys plain
meaning, yet as logical as it is to me, it is impossible
for me to convince anyone, such as the state of the
world is.

All of our pastors are educated at world seminaries
which combine cultures in a mish-mash of tolerance
for other religions. Is that what Christ preached?
Didn't he overturn the tables in the temple and
repudiate the learned of his day? Didn't he call them
servants of the devil and vipers? He didn't call the
sinners by those terms, only their religious leaders.
They criticized his choice of apostles and disciple,
from Matthew, the tax collector, akin to a mobster
back then, to Mary, sister of Martha and Lazarus,
a scarlet woman redeemed by faith. He welcomed
the outcasts and rejected the religious orthodoxy
and their masters.

What hope is there for us when all of our pastors
are ordained by universities and institutions which
dictate tolerance for false light and errors in translation
and doctrine? Who are the voices crying out in the
wilderness to evacuate those dead places now, to
leave the pompous congregations whose buildings
are decked in splendor and pomp, like prostitutes
covered in painted faces to disguise their plainess
to prospective Johns. We are committing spiritual
adultery in them because they are teaching
us carnal ways, like the ways of Solomon, son of
David, not Jesus Christ, the Lord.

Because we are creatures of spiritual sloth, we are
easily led astray like sheep without any bonds to
our true master. We follow after every manner of
foolish doctrine because that's all we know from
the time we are children. People who rant against
Christmas are condemned and called names.
People who made fun of Elijah and Elisha were
comparable to those who cannot bear to leave
their comfort zone these days, and yet, it is
inexorably the fate of the church and most
Christians to miss the mark of God.

When Christ returns, will there be faith on Earth?
When he returns, will we rejoice to see Zion?
Will we also rant about the poisoned water if
we're here, or will we finally understand how
like Job, we are not made to be appeased by
God, but to please him, and if we are abominable,
and if we destroyed the planet slowly over the
past 100 years, our fate is our own legacy, not
God's. God desires no man to suffer or die.
That's why he put on flesh, then gave his
flesh and blood for the final covenant.

This secret ceremony is described and exalted
in Song of Solomon, yet even though his prophet,
even Solomon couldn't see him, only himself...

I'll continue this later. I've been experiencing the
most profound spiritual changes, and I don't
want to sound like I'm bragging or better than
any other wretch, because truly I am just dust
like each sinner. I resist crucifying my own flesh
so I depend on God to take me through this process.
I can only fast and pray. Even through that there
is pride and carnal desire because when I diet
I get more attractive. For some bizarre reason,
I still look so young, and while I take pride in
this, I'm not trying to brag... it just is what
it is. I have no lines or sagging anywhere. I look
no different than I did at 30. It's like my dad's hair.
He is almost 90 and he has not one streak of grey.
Women my age get botox and face-lifts but I
don't even do more than wash my face with soap
and I smoke on top of that. It's only by God's
grace that I have not been aging. It's a weird
but blessed gift, and I'm not looking a gift horse
in the mouth.

When people my dad's generation look at him
they shake their heads because no one his age
should look like that. Why doesn't he have any
grey hair? I tell him it's because he's descendant
of Levi, Moses (it was on his ancestral bar mitzvah
talas-his surname and levi)... Moses is depicted
with long white beard and hair, but, in his 80s
he began his sojourn with the Hebrews, and his
hair remained dark and his clothing and shoes
didn't wear out, unless I'm mistaken.

See how easy it is for the focus to return to me,
and away from God? How pretty I am, how young
and how my flesh is preserved... What hope is there
for me when even through self-inflicted piety,
ascetic discipline and desire for illumination, all
that i see in that glass darkly is a looking glass
image of myself? How do I escape this universe
of me to join him? How do I let him in to release
me from this prison of ego and pride?

I am not pretty in God's eyes, I am beautiful only
because I am seeking him. When my eyes admire
myself, I become invisible both to him and eternity.
My eternal soul is with God, but, this body will
turn to dust and ashes someday. I long to escape
the longing to preserve my flesh. I dread the wrinkles
and sagging flesh, even though I have somehow
not begun to age rapidly. I fear that I'll wake up
and overnight I'll be that proverbial old hag and
no man will ever want me. ... Yet, here's the biggest
conundrum. I don't want any mortal man anymore.
I long to escape all longing, if it's God's will. I long
to remain celibate and chaste until his kingdom
comes, and I still have high hopes it is in 2012.
(I promised my dad. He said he can make it
to 90, anyway and looks forward to seeing Jesus
Christ coming with his city of heaven with his own eyes!)

I love my dad so much. I love him for being a Jew
who respects my love for Christ, even though he's
reluctantly been dragged into this mishagos whirl.
He cannot fathom why he saw the event in heaven
his eyes witnessed, which I think was similar to
Ezekiel's vision of the cherubims. I think it's because
even though he's not an orthodox or even a religious
Jew, he is the last physical generation of Levite,
which makes him a last generation of priest of
the old dispensation. I guess we, who seek Christ
and try to abide in faith, are like the Melchizadec
order, which combines the tribal markers of
Judah and Levi. Come to think of it, John the
Baptist was a combination of those two tribe,
with his dad being a Levitical priest and mom
being Judah, cousin of Mary of Judah. (I'm
digressing, but, I'm just saying...)

Oh, why when we look for Christ do we manage
to always admire him through our own religious
machinations? Why can't we lose ourselves
without losing him? I suppose because since he
has declared his passionate love for us, he sees
us when we see him. Maybe it's not bad to see
ourselves in the light of Christ's love. Maybe
we are meant to love ourselves as we love him
because only then can we love one another.

Yet, I want to do the right thing and not get
caught up in my own ego for that is how Solomon
got snared. Please Lord, help me escape from me.

So, today, first day of the week aka Sunday,
I begin again. Like Christ rose from the dead,
I live for the day when I will live in his presence
without sin. I long for the day when my mind
doesn't strain to understand, but, like a veil
lifting, I will suddenly understand the language
and multitudes of layered meaning, not just
in literature of the soul, like Song of Solomon,
but, in understanding the construction of a
single petal of a single rose.

There's a theory of everything, and it rests with
God and it is God. When we are fed with his
flesh and drink his blood, we have sustenance
to survive like physically recharging and consuming
protein, carbs and fats, vitamins and minerals of
food and drink.

I don't want to eat slain flesh anymore, but, I'm
not at liberty to give it up. I need the complex amino
acid, vitamin and lipid replenishments because of
my bleeding blood. When I am transformed, however,
like everyone else, I will no longer consume flesh of
animals or drink anything but the pure water of life,
as he has presented to us in a promised visionary
plan of redemption. Then will my eyes behold the
majesty of his beauty in a way which will not destroy
me. My retinas couldn't take him otherwise. That's what
destroyed Paul's eyesight! I will love seeing him of
course, but, most desired in my mortal frame of
reference right now is how animals will be free.
The lion and lamb will be friends, as he said, lying
side by side. The small child will play with the
poisonous asp and not be bitten. Nothing will
hurt or destroy anymore.

Only then will there be peace.

I have abandoned my disappointment over Hillary
losing. I have given to God my fear of Obama being
the antichrist, even though I have some real concerns
that he is part of the prophetic horror story ahead.
I only have eyes for what is edifying to my heart
and soul, the love of Jesus Christ and the real hope
and signs that he is returning.

	I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake [my] love, till he please.
Sgs 5:8	I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I [am] sick of love.

I feel like I have thousands of fellow brethren who
are also besotted by love of Christ. Even though there
are millions who profess his name, who will be willing
to abandon their hope of this world and sociopolitical
secular Israel for the Zion coming from above?

I wanted to vote for a Democrat before I died, but,
I can't vote anymore. I just don't care. They don't
give us any choices anymore. It's like food when
food is McDonald and Wendys. It's all part of an
inferior food chain which draws from suffering,
slaughter, slavery and oppression of this world.
It's all over for me. I don't seek to change the world
other than to pray for Christ to return rapidly.
There is no heaven on Earth until his feet again
touch Jerusalem and he stands upon the Mount
of Olives again. Until then, there is only idolatry,
demonic world conspiracy, greed, horror, horror,
horror... when will it end so we can begin?

2012? I think so, at the latest. I pray it is sooner.
If it is in another 100 years, it won't change a
thing for me. In an instant we are born and die.
In a blink of an eye, we stand before God and
are judged and condemned or transformed and
accepted amongst the angels. If we are to judge
the angels, how glorious is his blueprint for
man. No wonder Lucifer trembles and quakes.
Like the transient morning star is obliterated
by the light of the sun's rise in the sky, so will
the coming of God be on the day we are waiting
to see after this long dark age of night.

Come quickly Lord, dear Jesus. Our precious
love is hidden within your wings. COver us
with your feathers and grace. Take us out
of this place and let our soul's transformation
begin.