solitude at 5 a.m.

I just awoke. I dreamt of Melanie McGuire,
the ghoulish and cold beauty, with the face
of an angel, who drugged her cute husband
and then chopped him up in three pieces,
dumping him in matching luggage and throwing
him off the bridge into the Chesapeake Bay.
In three suitcases.

She maintains her innocence and just because
she is beautiful, she can totally bewitch
you into believing... except the evidence
was incontrovertible. It makes it a more
dangerous world to believe she did it,
in cold blood, stripping down to bare
skin, and methodically dis articulating
his head and upper chest from his lower
torso. She cleaned the bathroom murder
scene into pristine perfection. She did
it and it is depressing. We're living in
a place where this outwardly respectable
mom and nurse is really a nightmare and a
home for demons.

It's hard to reconcile with this reality.
I had a friend who turned out to be a
murderer. I struggle with this all the
time. I believed in him, and testified
for him. As a witness for the defense
I remember the ugly way the jury looked
at me trying to explain Bobby, but, I
knew a sweet guy who loved his kids,
and who took me out on family outings
with them, on his boat, family dinners,
and this family was the salt of the
Earth. How could I believe he had it
in him to kill a child, and leave the
other child in a vegetative coma?

When I finally realized he did it, it
shook my own confidence in being able
to discern the face of demons, but,
it's not just me. We choose to see
others as reflections of our own
values, morals, and when we like
someone, it is a betrayal to know
they are nothing like us, and were
hiding all along. Then again, are
they just possessed by demons?? How
about those like Karla Faye Tucker,
the murderess on Death Row, who
awoke to Christ, and converted so
many others that they called their
incarceration "Life Row"?

She claimed that being free was
Christ, and life was given to her
after she had taken a life.

I have no idea why I dreamt of Melanie
however, but, in my dream, she was no longer
soft, charismatic and so beautiful,
but in the four months since she has
spent in prison, sentenced to life, she has
instantly aged and grown hideously bitter,
her perfect teeth ground down in tortured nights
of recriminations, gritted into snaggle-teeth.
Instead of her melodious voice and sultry looks,
she was a medieval Lady Macbeth.

Shakespeare was in the dream, too,
in the form of Earl of Essex, or Oxford, or
whoever Shakespeare really was... He was a
phantom in a mystery still mocking us
mere mortals, still caught inside his own
genius and private jokes both Exalted and damned,
like she, who he had come to study.

I need to stay away from Court TV. After
seeing Phil Spector walk free, I have
lost my faith in celebrity justice. I
have no doubt OJ Simpson will stay free,
and I am so depressed about how our
society literally worships stars and
lets them live with the entitlements
of Emperors' nobless oblige, even
though they break laws, profane God,
commit traitorous acts against a free
nation, jeopardizing our liberty, and
ultimately dismissing God, like Kathy
Griffin did, calling the Emmy her
new God.

Yet, society worships her, Paris,
Brittney, OJ and to some extent,
Phil Spector's killing that poor
woman gave him street cred, too.
Amy Winehouse and her producer, Mark
Ronson, want to engage the Spector magic
for their next collaboration. He's
their new icon. This is how corrupt
our world is. It's not air pollution
that causes us to suffer the
wrath of nature. It is our spiritual
poverty and moral depravity. I believe
that by exalting and excusing the acts
of these flawed influential stars,
and individuals, who are amoral, profligate,
and flaunt the laws of the land, we
are receiving more and more wrath.

What hope is there anymore? Schools
in Maine are dispensing birth control
to 11, 12 and 13 year olds, and we
are hypocrites to throw men into
dungeons for committing acts of
perversion against children, when
our own culture is creating this
perversion, by sexualizing small
children. The shmucks on Dateline's "To
Catch A Predator" are as much victims
of our perverse and satanic culture
as any of the other victims. Not
that I'm excusing them, but, porn
is a poisonous substance, far more
insidious than our culture cares
to see.

It is the devil converting
and controlling masses of people
in a way never before possible.

I just want to scream out
to look to the heavens, like I do
this beautiful and peaceful dawn.
Taking away the stress of the deeds
and profane disrespect of our media
and celebrities' influence on our
lives, I can feel God in moments of
such peaceful clarity. It is almost like
the gentle breeze and the smell of
dew-filled vegetation wafting into
my patio is a written statement,
confirming how all is God's alone,
and He will deal with it.

I can feel the strength His spirit
alone gives me. Without him, I wouldn't
want to go through another day.


The themes of treachery, murder,
mad power and evil today are the same as
in Shakespeare's day, and the song remains
the same. No matter how technological or
sophisticated we become, we have not
evolved at all, and it seems like it's
even worse, because unlike other societies,
ours is becoming further away from God by
design.

Yet, being a society that has ambitiously
embarked on a crusade to eliminate God completely,
only makes God closer. It's another fortunate
paradox to paradise. God is not dead, even
with the spite mankind demonstrates by
being resentful of God and blaming him
for bad things, yet claiming they don't
believe. What a mess.

I consider it to be miraculous that
even with the devastation in
California, with the fires, that
God spared lives in a wondrous and
blatant wave of mercy. But, no one
there notices, at least not one
has thanked God yet on television
coverage.

There are actually misguided
celebrities like Jamie Lee Curtis who
use the occasion to propagate the Green
Man's lies, and spread the Gospel of
the False Prophet and Antichrist. I'm
sure she doesn't mean harm, but, she's
another dope in the scheme, and blasphemes
when she says that the incident was not
an act of God. Yikes. They even want to
take credit for natural disasters
now.

Is God dead? To them, I guess He
no longer exists outside of being
blamed for bad things. But it is they
who are phantom figures, about to
fade and disperse like the smokey
mist on the pre-dawn world I watch
outside. As the first color changes
of the sky begin, the fog dissipates
and soon will rise and become invisible,
part of the sky, again. The vain voices
of those who preach the wrong gospel
will also dissolve like smoke in a
big wind. Eventually, even their smell
disappears.

The Antichrist is here and his
apostles control the airwaves,
just like the Prophet Daniel said.

2012? I think it may be 2009 for
the rapture, since some intel says
that Israel deploys the bombs
then...It is coming. Before the
smoke clears, it will be hell
on earth. In this I believe.
Christ is marching along with
His saints. I have joy and
peace this morning, even though
I have no citizenship in the
world today.

This symbolic burning in California
is both natural and supernatural.
This is the fate of nations
who blaspheme, I believe.